Love Finds A Way

5

I DIDN'T even finish. I had to fake it just for her to stop touching me. Looking at her naked body beside mine, I feel worse than how I felt when I woke up with Bethany there instead.

Slipping out of bed, not caring if I wake her, I head into the bathroom, and look at myself in the mirror. Why did she have to mark me? The side of my neck has a huge hickey. I groan and wash my face. I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack. I grip the edges of the sink, and inhale a few deep breaths.

"Babe, you okay?" Petah's naked body walks into the bathroom. My eyes travel over the stretch marks on her sides. She did birth three of our four kids, "regretting it already?" She chuckles and wraps her arms around my waist. Kissing my shoulder blade, she rests her chin on my shoulder and smiles.

"This can't happen again," it shouldn't have happened in the first place! Fuck, what the hell is wrong with me? I turn into her arms, and look carefully at her long, blonde hair. I once loved everything about this woman, and now, I'm just disgusted with myself for allowing her to fuck me.

"I'll tell the kids that I arrived today," she drops her arms, and walks over to the toilet. I turn my head, allowing her to pee in private, "and Kim stole my credit cards and went to Hawaii."

Oh god. It's just one drama after the next when it comes to Petah, "did you cancel them?" She nods and flushes the toilet. When she walks over to wash her hands, I step out of the way.

"After she squandered twenty thousand," she explains. I close my eyes. She always chooses the worst kind, "she's off her meds, so her grandparents repaid her debt, so that I won't contact the police," she shrugs, as she grabs my toothbrush.

"That's settled then. At least she's out of your life," I mumble.

She quirks her brow at me, "do I sense some happiness there, Xo?" You wish. I enter the shower, and turn on the water. She seems to want an answer, or maybe she misses showering with me, so as she enters too, I gently push her back with my hand.

"I'd like to shower alone."

She frowns and places her hand on the shower door, "oh, come on. We had a nice time, didn't we?" You orgasmed twice, and I didn't once! I take a deep breath, and shake my head.

"Just give me some privacy, you can shower after and then leave," I say that more harshly than I intend.

She steps back in defeat, and looks at her naked body in the full-length of the bathroom mirror. Is she checking herself out? For a woman in her late forties, she's attractive and fit, and if we were still together, I'd probably be dealing with a lot of cheating. No matter the circumstance, she's eye candy to any lesbian, bisexual or transgender woman in California, imagine what it's like anywhere else.

But why does she still want to sleep with me? That's always been the question on my mind. Is it because I know how to please her? I've known Petah for almost twenty-seven years, and I know everything that she likes and dislikes, from how rough she likes it in bed to how much bacon she wants on her plate in the morning.

I turn off the water, and step out of the shower, my body dripping. She hands me a towel, and heads in, as I begin to dry myself. I sigh, as I look into the mirror once again, those mesmerizing blue eyes entering my mind. Even while Petah was head deep between my legs, I still thought of Bethany. It made me sick to my stomach. No wonder I couldn't orgasm.

"I still love you, you know," I hear Petah's voice. I don't want to hear that, especially today, "I know you don't feel the same way anymore, but I've never stopped loving you," why confess all of this now? After nine years of touring around the world fucking whoever you cross paths with? Through the mirror, I look at how her head leans against the shower door, as she looks at me.