Left behind (a gilmore girls fanfiction)

Chapter 9

SONG FOR THIS CHAPTER: Oh no by MARINA

"HARLOW GILMORE!" My grandmother yells as I walk through the large oak doors and into the Gilmore manor.  "WHERE IN THE WORLDS WERE YOU? AND SKIPPING SCHOOL TOO!" 

"Grandma...I'm sorry. I don't know what has happened to me. The stress with mom and Rory and school I don't even know what has gotten into me. I'm sorry It wont happen again." 

"You're right it wont even happen again. Hand me your pager and your phone. You grounded for two weeks." She says handing out her hand to put my possessions in. After I hand her my things she looks at me with sympathy and a mix of pity. "I know things with your mother have been difficult and I will never agree with what she did us and you disappearing like that really scared me. I thought it was your mother all over again and I was just so scared. Me and your grandfather love you so much and if their is anything you would like to talk with us with we will not talk and just listen. I love you."

 After her speech I just hug her and mumble into her shoulder that I love her and we stay there for a while just hugging one another. 

After that embarrassing emotional moment I go upstairs. I shower and get into pajamas and check my alarm clock that reads 8:09. To early to go to sleep and ignore all my problems. 

I grab my school bag and take out all my textbooks and start studying of the day I've been gone. After years of  trying to figure out the best study methods I've found that alternating between subjects produce the best results. By the 7th grade I have stayed  to the same order math, English, science, history, and then elective. The type of classes have changed but my grade have never changed from an A. The hardest part of studying is finding how to do it. Once I start College and go to law school I will need to find a new way to do things. 

I have always wanted to be a lawyer part of it is because my grandfather works at a law firm and my father hates him like I often hate him. It also reminds me of a world my mother ran away from with my twin that seems to be fitting in right now. 

I have been called many things; brat, spoiled, bitch, try-hard along with others and some positive like perfect, beautiful, and intelligent. However every positive has a negative expectation. A expectation that doesn't always correspond to the reality of he cruel life of planet earth. Rory has different expectations than I do and that is to be different than her mother or exactly the same. Mine is to be like everyone else in this stupid life that my mom has run away from. 

I can be anyone I want I just have to try but I do actually want these things and my rebellious side is not getting in the way of what I want. Though the rebel of being a lawyer brings me joy so does putting guilty people in jail and helping innocent people stay out of the metal cage that looks like it was made to keep animals than real people. Though, humans are animals. 

Being a Lawyer is kind of like a grown up version of me being a cheerleader. I was expected to do that but I enjoy it with the social part of it as well as it makes me look better on application. This year I joined student counsel became co-captain of the cheerleading team and the debate team.

The way Paris put it is that I can't expect to go to yale if I look like every other straight A student applying to go to yale. So as well as the extra curricular activity's I volunteering at charity's but I try to stick to similar ones. I met with some board people from Stanford and they told me they like to see a personality behind them so that's what I do stick to environmental stuff and cheerleading stuff. 

I'm like the earth and Yale is like the sun. Everything I do helps me get into my dream school and live my dream life. 

However, the one thing that will make everything stop is if I end up like my mother. Pregnant. 

And if I do end up pregnant I will never, ever, leave them behind. 

And if I do that well, I would have been dead.