And Counting || Silvanna Snape

Chapter Six

Almost forgot to update today sorryyy :)

"You look beautiful."

"You must be so pleased."

"Congratulations!"

"Look at that dress!"

"You're glowing, Mrs Black."

Mrs Black. Silvanna hated herself. She hated herself, and the world, and both the families she was now a part of.

She and Regulus clung to each other from the moment they'd said 'I do'. He'd disappeared briefly while her bustle was made up, and reappeared a few minutes later, stoic and unreadable.

There were photographers everywhere, taking candid shots, posed ones, her at the alter, her down the aisle, at the wedding breakfast. She could barely take a minute to breathe. And even if she could, she stood no chance against the stiff, tight corset restricting her every move.

It did look lovely under the dress though. It was very fashionable, but also very...extravagant. Long, puffed sleeves, a classic sweetheart neckline, shining silk, embroidered with roses on the bodice and hem. And the back - open and bordered with lace, followed by a cascade of ruffles that swept right down her train. And a bow to top it all off, sat at her wasit. A present, wrapped up and perfect.

Her hair was scraped back, a tiara on top, so she couldn't even hide behind it. But she had remembered the necklace her friends had given her. She would never forget that.

Round and round they went. They danced, they talked, they posed. They smiled. She was smiling, smiling on the worst day of her life.

The wedding organiser came up to her while she talked to some people from the Ministry, hovering nervously until she asked what they wanted.

"It's nine o'clock, Mrs Black. Time for your departure."

She looked around for Regulus and there he was, already halfway towards her. Her stomach turned, but at least it was nearly over.

They left, waving and smiling for the last time, and she took his arm as they apparated away.

All was quiet. Despite her huge dress, she was freezing as the autumn wind bit her. She let go of his arm and started towards the grand cottage they'd arrived at. There was nothing but fields for miles around, green and brown and yellow, and the occasional orange tree propped up on the landscape.

It was a tudor building she thought, and she glanced briefly at the plaque that read Mulberry House before stepping inside.

It was much warmer. Classically decorated, much like Whitechapel was, but a little darker. She stared around, eyeing the staircase and listening to the tick of the clock.

"Your room's upstairs," Regulus said, closing the door behind him. Tick, tick,  tick. "Second door on the left."

She nodded and went up, into another hallway with five doors leading off it. She went through hers.

Another hallway, this time with two doors. The first was a pristine, tiled bathroom. The second was her bedroom. Large and warm, a fireplace crackling, a mahogony four poster bed that was just a little bit too much like the Gryffindor ones. There was no red or gold in sight though - in fact there was no colour at all, save for the dark blue flowers embroidered on the bed linen.

It was fine.

She struggled out of her dress and into a nightgown, yanking out all of the pins in her hair. She sighed and stared at herself in the dressing table mirror. It was so, so quiet.

She would buy a gramophone tomorrow. She would buy six, and put them all over the house. And some radios too. Because it was too quiet. It left her alone, knowing what would happen next.

She didn't think she'd actually wanted to sleep with Jim. She'd just done it because she thought she should. She didn't regret it - it had at least prepared her a bit. But she hadn't known she didn't want to. Now she did.

Just as she was pulling on a silk dressing gown, there was a light knock at the door. Regulus appeared, the top layers of his robes discarded so that he was only in his shirt and trousers. He smiled as he came in, handing her a glass of amber liquid, before sitting in her armchair.

She returned his smile, and drank. Firewhiskey. Just what she needed. She nodded her thanks.

The first thing he said was, "How do you feel?"

It stopped her brain for a moment, as she thought of how she was supposed to answer that. Because really, she didn't feel.

"Fine," she lied. "Relieved I suppose. It's been a long time coming."

He hummed in agreement. "Do you like it here?"

"Better than Whitechapel," she said, making him chuckle. "But it's too quiet."

"That'll change." It was a confusing promise, one with plenty of hidden meaning that she was too tired to decipher. "We're married," he began, "so I'm not going to kill you."

Funny, she thought. That's exactly what I thought, but without the 'not'.

She raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. He wet his lips. "You have to stop spying for Dumbledore."

It was the first time they had spoken so openly. But she trusted his word, knew it to be true. He couldn't kill her until he had his heir, she knew that and so did he. So she spoke the truth. "That's the only reason I married you, Regulus."

He blinked a few times, but did not look surprised or hurt. "Alright," he said. "So we both stop."

"Both?"

He put his drink down, and she drained hers. And then he rolled up his sleeve.

She thought she might be sick. Instead, as she stared at the Dark Mark, she just whispered, "Merlin's beard."

"I am sorry Silvanna," he said sincerely. "I had no choice."

"What the fuck do we do?" she asked, rubbing her face, trying to get her mind thinking straight. "You can't desert, and I refuse to stop. I refuse, Regulus. What are we going to do?"

Crackle went the fire and tick went the clock.

"I don't really care about the war," he said. "Don't get me wrong, muggles and mudbloods are scum - but I don't care. Not enough anyway."

"What are you saying?" She was desperate, her heart leaping with hope for any way out, any small crevice to hide away in.

"I'm saying my study is upstairs, and it's unlocked at all times, and I don't care if you go in." He sighed, and she bit her cheek.

"Alright," she said. "Alright."

"Alright?"

"Alright," she agreed.

He nodded and got to his feet. "Good." He headed towards the door, paused, and looked at her again. "You ought to come with me."

Her knees slightly less supportive than usual, she climbed to her feet. "I suppose I should, yes."