"You're beginning to sound like the person you vowed never to become."
This is the story where one wrong decision leads to a dozen of others. Even if Scarlett tries to compensate for everything she's done, it all spirals downward.
author's note : I know this chapter isn't much, but it's about to get a lot better in the next, I promise. but, i would like to say thank you for the 11k reads! it surprises me to no end you guys find your way to reading my story - though i'm not complaining. so, i hope you guys like this and please vote and leave me a comment if you did - it would really make my day.
[For Nevada, my twin sister, who I've looked up to for a while now and I've been talking to recently. I wish you the best, for it is your works that I've come to love.]
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06 : jouska
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"The thing is that people only get hurt
-really hurt-when they're trying to play it safe.
That's when people get injured,
when they pull back at the last second
because they're scared.
They hurt themselves and other people."
- Morgan Matson, 'Second Chance Summer'
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jouska (n):
A hypothetical conversation
that you compulsively play out in your head.
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FOR SOME REASON, ALL I WANTED TO dowas to look past all these barriers put in the midst of us and perhaps, at this right moment, tear them all down to the ground. But, seeing as they've been set high enough, I couldn't do so. I lacked the strength, I lacked the courage and most of all, I lacked the incentive to do so.
What good could I do if I let my mum see my vulnerability, giving her the beck and call to use it against me if she could?
"I -" I started off, padding my towards my mum whose ears perked up instantaneously and whose eyes were glinting with desolation. "you know what? Forget it. Forget I said anything."
My mum brought her hand to caress my cheek, only to withdraw it afterward as a guarded look dawned on my face. I could see the moisture building up on her tear ducts and the sincerity in her gaze. It was almost as if she was the same mother who taught me how to read anecdotes, plaited my hair every morning and wrapped her arms around me, telling me it was her secret power - to be able to cast away all my nightmares and demons.
