09 : nodus tollens

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author's note: this 2/2 of my gifts for you guys. i hope you all enjoy this chapter <3

[for Cam, i have always admired how you write and how sweet you are. hope you have a great day ahead of you! x]





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09 : nodus tollens

09 : nodus tollens

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"Thank you,"

she whispered soft like it may blow away

with anything stronger than a breathe,

"for fixing me."

"You,"

I sputtered out like the first sound of morning,

"were never

broken."

-       Tyler Knott Gregson, 'Attempted Love'


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nodus tollens

(n): the realization that the plot of your life

doesn't make sense to you anymore.


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ALL I COULD EVER THINK ABOUT was that at this moment, nothing would ever come close to how petrified I was. Nothing would ever do impartiality to the feeling of allowing yourself to be out of all sorts of defences in front of someone, knowing full well of the collateral damages that would come with it.

All that propelled me forward, despite the situation I could subject myself to, was the look that glossed over his face and the likelihood of proving my mother wrong.

But, was it all that? Was it all just because of other people's decisions, other people's actions and not of my own?

Nevertheless, I did want to retreat from all the memories that cease to exist and all the obstinate reminders that were plastered from every inch of where I live. I wanted to make the situation that I was in, to be transient, and only just transient.

I can't help but feel as though it was possible. If every person that chose to be a permanent fixture in my life had always been ephemeral and fleeting, then perhaps everything that ever occurred to me could do so otherwise.

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