SGE His Guarded Heart (Prequel to His Darkened Heart)

Chapter 12 To Be Weak

"If Japeth had truly known Aric, he'd know that much about Aric. He'd know not to be so damn weak."
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Chapter 12 To Be Weak 

For a long while, Krushem somehow couldn't bring himself to unfold that piece of tattered paper as if whatever was written on there was meant to be kept a secret.

He wasn't meant to find that paper. To read it. And yet he had found that paper and stuffed it in his pocket because his curiosity was too great to ignore.

He'd stuffed it in his pocket and carried it with him all the way away from the schools. Daybreak arrived but Krushem was too tired to carry on any further, so he set up camp in the woods.

But curled up beneath the trees and staring up at the night sky, Krushem couldn't sleep. His insomnia emerged once more, leaving Krushem's thoughts racing.

Eventually, the urge to read that letter became too much for Krushem to bear and he snatched it out of his pocket. When he unfolded it with trembling hands, his gaze flitted over the scratchy handwriting and his gaze lingered at the bottom of the page. The letter was signed from "Aric."

Krushem inhaled sharply and his chest heaved.

The writing was scratchy and yet intelligible and elegant in its own way as if Aric had taken great care to write this. It was as if Aric had poured his whole heart into this letter.

"Dear Japeth..." Krushem read aloud to himself, clutching the letter with both hands tightly as if to brace to himself for what he'd read next. "I remember when we used to sit on the steps in front of school just talking. The blueberries we'd eat. The smile you'd give me. The way you scooted closer to me like you needed me..."

The further Krushem read, the more his heart sank deeper and deeper in his chest as he came to the realization that Aric and Japeth were indeed far more than just "friends." It went far deeper than friendship. Far deeper than blood.

"We were together," Krushem continued, feeling his emotions attempt to betray him, but he steeled himself, struggling to remain composed. Boys don't cry. "Together before your idiotic brother gave me no choice. You knew I couldn't just stand there and let him push you around like that. I gave Rhian what he deserved."

There was the Aric Krushem knew. The Aric who showed no mercy. The Aric who did the things he believed was right to him, even if it meant bringing harm to others.

But then..."I did it to protect you. To protect us because Japeth you are my friend and I would've done anything for you. In a heartbeat, always."

As Krushem read on, his mind flitted in the distance to a memory of when he'd heard Aric crying out for Japeth, being as vulnerable as he could ever be. Krushem still wanted to deny it. To deny the fact that Aric could ever care about someone as much as he cared about killing his mother of torturing others. Krushem didn't wanna believe that Aric could ever care about anyone over him.

This letter wasn't some innocent note written to Japeth. No, this letter was full of meaning. It was a letter to the boy Aric cared about above all else, the boy he was willing to let go of in order to be strong; "I have to be strong or I'll never move on from you. That's why I'm letting you go, Japeth..."

Krushem felt a surge of anger overcome him, an anger he couldn't quench and he felt his fingers clench as he tore the letter in half.

If this letter was to be believed, then Aric was indeed not a monster. That's a belief Krushem had always held onto at the school for Boys as well as afterwards, but this letter also meant Aric and Japeth's friendship or relationship or whatever the heck it was went far deeper than Krushem himself wanted to admit.