Scars Like Ours | Red View Romance #2

🐈 Twenty Three

Halloween at the orchard was just as picturesque as Cliff remembered. The countryside was still holding onto the warm colors of autumn, vibrant even under the moody grey sky. It was just past noon, but already there was a constant flow of costumed families visiting--and Cliff, of course, was watching it all from the house.

It was embarrassing, especially since Adam went through the trouble of getting him a ridiculous pirate costume from the mall, which he'd surprised him with the night before. That morning Cliff had gotten as far as putting it on and walking downstairs--then he looked outside, saw how many cars were in the store parking lot, how many people were browsing the barrels of apples and making small talk, and he just couldn't get himself to step out the front door.

He told himself he'd just have something to eat first while he worked up the courage. But even eating breakfast at a snail's pace he was done sooner than he liked, and still wasn't ready to face the crowd.

Already Kenzie had come up twice to see if he was planning to join the festivities, and both times he told her he'd be down soon. The last time, she'd given him a look mixed with pity and understanding, saying that Mom and Dad would be there in an hour or so. He got the feeling she was hoping they'd be able to coax him out of the house--honestly, he hoped so too. He wished there was something they could say to make all his fear go away, to make it so he could enjoy the day just like anyone else.

At the same time, that wasn't their--or anyone else's--responsibility. He was an adult, for Christ's sake. And despite knowing he was acting like a kid, hiding away from his problems, he couldn't seem to stop. He made it back into the foyer after playing with Fritters for a while, but merely paced in front of the door instead of opening it.

Before he could go out--or more likely, head back into the house for another thirty minutes before trying again--the door opened and Annie stepped inside, meeting his eyes with a soft "Hi," as she closed the door behind her.

His heart swelled at the sight of her--she looked adorable in her scarecrow costume, with a painted face of rosy cheeks and a stitched smile. Her hair was braided in pigtails beneath a straw hat, and fake pieces of hay made of felt stuck out of the collar and sleeves of her flannel shirt. He was acutely aware of how idiotic he looked in his pirate costume, with its gaudy hat, flouncy shirt, and deep blue vest with a rubber sword attached to the side.

But her smile grew as she studied him, stretching the painted marks on her face. "I like your costume."

"I like yours. And your..." He gestured to his forehead to signify her hair. "That's new. Did you cut it yourself?"

She laughed, shaking her head. "No, the girls convinced me to have it done when we went to the salon. I'm glad they did, though. And it's a bonus that bangs suit the costume so well."

"They suit you, too."

She softened. "Thank you." When a silence passed between them she held up a pitcher in her hand, which he hadn't noticed before. "I just came up to get more water for cleaning the face-painting brushes. Are you coming down?"

"I..." He sighed, shrugging with a self-pitying laugh. "As stupid as it sounds, I've been trying to all morning."

"You haven't been around people yet really, have you?"

"A little on the way here. Then the other day when I went down to the store, there were a few customers around--I don't even think they saw me. But nothing more than that."

"It's not stupid to be nervous, Cliff. I get nervous around people, and I'm around them all the time. It's a big leap to take, going to an event like this."

Her understanding lifted some of the weight off of his chest. "Yeah."

"You shouldn't feel guilty if you're not up to it, you know. I want you to--we all want you to. But you should do it for yourself, not for any of us."