memoir of a forgotten pirate

X

I haven't talked to Mathias since then. My mind flits back to it sometimes– the words that I had said. I couldn't even make the excuse that it wasn't me— because it very much was.

I spent my days in a hazy state, listless and growing sicker.

The village doctor couldn't estimate when I would die— just that I would, eventually.

"If you're lucky," he said, handing me a handkerchief, "A couple years. If you're unlucky, you'll die tomorrow."

"Great," I said feverishly, wiping blood from my mouth. "That's... annoying."

The doctor shook his head.

"There's nothing I can do for you," he murmured. "I don't even know how we managed to solve that last outbreak, honestly... look, I can give you some medicine that might make some of your symptoms more tolerable, if you'd like that? I know your work is hard."

"... Sure," I said, trying to sound noncommittal. "I'd... appreciate that, doc."

But the medicine only goes so far. Even now as I write, I can feel the headache coming again. Some days, the pain in my hands is so powerful that I can barely pick up my tools, much less a pen to write with.

Tianyi got back to me a while ago about Leon.

"He's on a pirate ship," she said.

My blood ran cold.

"No," I murmured. "How? How could that happen?"

"He's safe," Tianyi added quickly. "It just makes tailing them harder. I can't get close— or, I mean, I could, but they might kill me? I'm not sure."

What had Leon gotten himself into?

I don't know. I don't know, quite frankly, if I'll live long enough to find out.

"Mathias is safe too," Tianyi said after a moment. "Him and the Vikings. He asked about you."

I sighed, raising my hand to cover my face.

Fuck.

"That's... good," I said. "I'm glad."

"He asked me to give you a message," Tianyi said. She cleared her throat. "Surely as the moon pulls the waves, I will always be pulled towards you, my sun."

Tears stung my eyes.

"Fucking dumbass," I said, forcing the words out past the lump in my throat.

He was romantic. A bleeding heart. A heart that was far too soft to be handled by someone like me.

"Here's a message for him," I said. "Fuck off and leave me alone."

Tianyi's gaze said it all— sad and forlorn. But I had to ignore it. I couldn't let my mind focus on silly things like love— not when my own clock was running out.

A letter made its way to me recently, though.

From Mathias.

Sarovar had invited me out for a drink when he delivered me the letter. The bar was quiet, strangely, and as I took a sip from my beer, he dropped the letter in front of me.

"Mathias wants me to give this to you," Sarovar said. "Says that he needs something from you."

"Ah," I said blandly, as if my heart wasn't pounding.

I opened the letter, tracing the words on the page. Asking about a little girl, if I could please take her in, and how he wanted to see me again.

They haven't been back for at least a year at this point.

Avoiding me?

Maybe they found a different blacksmith to tend to their weapons.

"What's it say?" Sarovar asked, crossing his arms and giving the parchment a look of definite interest.

"A girl," I answered. "He wants me to— to take care of a little girl."

"His daughter?" Sarovar blurted out.

I glared at him, hating the way something nasty lashed in my heart at the mere mention of a supposed daughter.

"No," I said. "A girl he found that was going to be trafficked that's not safe with them. He wants me to take care of her."

"You gonna?" Sarovar said casually, reaching for my glass of beer.

I watched as he finished my glass, gulping it down.

"Guess so," I said.

Maybe this is the last bit of well-meaning well-goodness that I can do for him.