RIDDLE ME THIS

49

we made our way to Hogsmeade by the light of our wands, slipping in the icy snow and laughing.

we eventually made it to a pub and burst through the door, finding a table by the roaring fire and claiming it.

Matteo ordered us all drinks as we shrugged our coats off and rubbed our cold hands together.

"so i take it everything is sorted?" Matteo looked between Tom and i.

"not quite everything," i said. "but some things."

we had chosen to sit next to each other, with Draco to my left, Pansy beside him and Matteo on the other side of Tom.

"i'm glad," Draco squeezed my hand.

i smiled as our drinks arrived, moving to the side so the waitress could put the glasses on the table.

"cheers." Pansy raised her glass. "and merry Christmas."

"merry Christmas." we all echoed, clinking our glasses together and drinking deeply.

we ate and talked until late, avoiding the subject of looming war.

eventually we headed back up to the castle, laughing and pushing each other into the snowdrifts.

the castle was quiet and we had left one of the classroom windows slightly ajar so we could re-enter without being seen

we all helped each other up through the window, stomping the snow off our shoes.

"you know," i looked around the charms room. "i think i'm going to miss Flitwick's lessons."

"me too," Draco headed over to the desk we usually sat at and touched the table lightly. "look."

i walked over and stared at the carvings in the wood.

DM&LR were here—20/09/1997

i laughed quietly. "it seems like forever ago."

"three months today..." Draco smiled sadly.

i looked around the class, my eyes landing on a nail sticking out of another desk.

i pulled it out of the wood and returned to our own desk, adding another carving.

DRACO&LOLA—DECEMBER 1997

i stared down at the words, unsure of how or what to feel.

"come on," he took my hand and we walked over to the door where the others were waiting.

the walk back to the common room was silent, as the reality of our situation began to hit us.

we weren't children anymore, we were soldiers in an army.

there was no time to trash the Gryffindor common room or play quick game of quidditch.

life has never felt so real, and i found myself wishing i was a child again, terrorising my brothers without a care in the world.

i looked at my brothers now, more men than boys.

both of their jaws were hard set as they stared straight ahead, their green-brown eyes unwavering.

Tom, my eldest brother.

i supposed i looked up to him in a way, he always kept us in line, even though his methods were extremely questionable.

Matteo, the middle child.

he cared more about me than about himself, keeping me out of harms way as best he could, even when it meant causing himself injury.

Pansy, my best friend, who has grown so much with Matteo at her side.

the woman who always had my back, who defended me to anyone, even if i was the one in the wrong.

and Draco...

Draco, the man i loved, stroking his thumb across my knuckles—something he did when he disappeared into the depths of a mind so intricate i wished i could look inside.

i squeezed his hand and he looked down at me, his cold eyes softening and warming when they met mine.

"you okay?" he asked.

"yeah," i linked his arm and rested my head on his shoulder. "i'm fine."

"good." he kissed my hair.

we reached the common room and Tom held the curtain for us all.

the fire had gone out and the room was cold and dark.

"we'll leave for the manor early tomorrow—just before dawn—before everyone gets up." Tom told us. "pack anything you want to take back."

we all nodded and dispersed into our dorms.

Venus, my cat, was curled up on our bed.

she disliked Draco at first, but after he gave her a few slices of salmon stolen from dinner, they were almost inseparable.

"oh, fuck..." i wrapped my arms around myself. "this is really happening, isn't it."

"hey, it'll be ok." Draco hugged me tight. "nothing is going to happen to any of us."

i wished i could believe him, but i knew not even he could promise that.

this might be our last night together, so i wrapped my arms around him and kissed his lips softly.

"can we just hold each other?" i whispered, not caring that i sounded like an idiot.

"of course," he picked me up and carried me to the bed.

we pulled the covers up around us and held each other tight as i tried not to cry.

our hearts beat in synchrony as he played with my hair, and i drew invisible pictures on his bare chest with my fingers.

"i love you, Draco Malfoy."

"love isn't strong enough to describe what i feel for you." his voice was laced with sleep and my own eyelids were growing heavy. "in this life or the next, i will find you, and stay with you."

i kissed his chest, his neck, his cheek and his lips, snuggling down against his body and allowing sleep to pull me into its dark abyss.