Crossfire ••• Andy Strucker [Book 2]

unMoored

TW: mentions of self-harm/suicidal thoughts/restrictive eating. It gets super depressing this chapter guys I'm sorry. I'm too broke for therapy so this is what I do instead.

Andy lays in his bed, staring at the ceiling as the lights from the city flicker over his room. He hears Dawn crying from the room down the hall. He groans and rolls onto his side. His eyes bounce over the Washington Monument, the top just visible from his bed.
For six months he had stared at that monument as he fell asleep. For six months he had tried to force himself to ignore the nagging pain that was constantly in his chest, the pain that told him to go back to his family. Back to Ivee.

And ever since Dawn was born, there was a presence around him as if she was standing right behind him. He needs to shake the feeling. He can't afford to think about her, not this week. His training was more important now than it had been months ago. If he fails... he wasn't sure what Reeva would do. He closes his eyes, body growing heavy as he falls asleep.

It was a different dream to the others; Andy could tell immediately. There was no parking garage, no view of the capitol and no Lauren. This time he was standing in his old bedroom. He stares at the posters on the wall, the drawings of wolves Ivee had tacked to the walls against his wishes. He looks up to the ceiling, seeing the glow in the dark stars Ivee had stuck to the roof one-night years ago. Above his headboard was the wolf constellation Ivee had drawn him for his fourteenth birthday. He steps forward and traces his finger along the dots and lines.

"I wonder if they took everything from the house."

Andy's heart begins to race at the sound of the voice from behind him. His hands shake as he debates whether to turn around. To face the girl he betrayed.

"They probably burnt it down," he says, not turning around.

"Wouldn't surprise me," she says.

Andy sucks in a deep breath and turns around. Her hair was different, that was the first thing he notices. It was longer and coloured a dark pink. It was beautiful; she was beautiful. Her eyes were dull but still held the fire he loved. She was still Ivee but not his Ivee. Not anymore, he was still trying to come to terms with that fact.

"It's been a while, huh?" she says, looking past him at the drawing.

"Uh..." he stumbles over his thoughts and the words wouldn't come out. "Yeah."

"What did you do to your hair?" she asks. She turns away and picks up the photo on his dresser. It was from Andy's seventh birthday, both kids were covered in chocolate cake, ketchup, and mustard.

"I felt like a change."

He scolds himself. Change? He felt pathetic and can barely look up to meet the girls eyes when she stands in front of him.

"Don't do that."

He looks up expecting to see her eyes glowing, but they weren't. They were all knowing none the less. She knew him well enough to know when he was beating himself up over something small. But this wasn't small; not really. This was huge, this was his chance to apologise but he was too busy drowning in self-hatred to do so.

He takes her hand, but she pulls away and turns to the door. His heart sinks into the ground as she opens the door. "Andy," she says, chewing on her bottom lip. He looks up expectantly, bracing himself for the next words. "Was it worth it? Leaving?"

He gapes at her. Was it? Was any of it actually worth it. Is this new world worth him losing his mind? Worth him losing Ivee? It should be easy to answer. The answer should be yes. Selfishly, however, he wants to say no even though they're trying to build something for all mutants. He just wants to be with Ivee and his family again