Mr. Pruk//ZeeNuNew

Waiting

Almost two hours after the incident, we were waiting on the shore closest to the cliff, waiting for news from the incoming diver team.

I had brought the earliest team that we could find, but my assistant was still in touch with the best ones. We were making plans for them to come.

I felt like I had collapsed, I was quite tired from work and came here, I was not feeling well psychologically.

I didn't know that losing NuNew would devastate me this much.

I was really devastated.

My assistant, me, my other employees, Aunt Leina and her husband were waiting in front of the cars. Aunt Leina approached me. "Zee, son, look, I made you a sandwich, let's eat something. You've been hungry since you got off work. Your blood pressure drops."

She was right, but I didn't want to eat anything, and as a result of her persuasion efforts, I sat in the back seat of the car and took a few bites of the sandwich she had prepared, but I couldn't eat more.

I got out of the car, at that moment Ilya approached me, the woman I had forcibly engaged.
"Zee..."

"How did you know I was here, Ilya?" I said, my tiredness was also evident in my voice.

"I asked your grandfather, he told me. That the boy in your house had an accident..."

He threw the NuNew into the sea himself, and he said it is a car accident.

My limits were being pushed, I could feel it.

"We're waiting team to find him." I said without giving any further details.

"I came to wait with you, and why didn't you answer my calls?"

I lifted my head and looked at his face. "Was I normally answer?"

I think my gaze was so fierce that Aunt Leina, who was standing a little ahead of us, approached us. "Miss Ilya, if you want, let's go to Mr. Pruk's house. It's close here anyway, we'll keep in touch if anything happens."

Before Ilya could say anything to me more, she took Ilya's arm and pulled her away. Good thing she did, because if Ilya had stayed longer, my already bad nerves would have deteriorated.

Almost half an hour after they left, something came from the diving team. They said that they could not continue their work because it was completely dark.

I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what to think. I was losing him. I couldn't lose him in that way.

I leaned against the front of the car, planning what to do, my assistant Wales came to me.
"Mr. Pruk, sir, I contacted a special team of divers, they are in a city almost three hours away from here. I explained all the details, they said they can start the search at around 4-5 am at the earliest, they will set out if you allow."

"Let them come out, the sooner they can come, whatever they need, I'll take care of them. Pass them on."

I didn't care about anything, even money...

All I cared about was that he was saved.

All I cared about was NuNew.

"Sir, the divers are coming out of the sea, there's no point in waiting here any longer, rest until the other crew arrives if you want. Because tomorrow we'll need more strength..."
Wales was right, but I didn't know if I could sleep. Still, it would be nice to rest for a while.

We all gathered and went to my house, where Aunt Leina was cooking and serving to the staff, employees downstairs.

I went upstairs to my room. I was about to open the door to my room and enter, but instead entered to NuNew's room first. I approached his bed and sat down, watching the room for a while, then took his pajamas on his bed, inhaled his flower-like scent.

I realized that I wanted to cry when I inhaled the smell of this boy who is 9 years younger than me,

I wanted to cry,

I wanted to cry like I was losing myself...

But I couldn't, I couldn't.

It was as if I would admit that I had lost him if I did, if I cried, I would accept that he would never come back.

I just stood there, holding his shirt in my hand, breathing in his scent...

I regret what I've done...

I wanted to kill myself for every single moment I hurt him.

Wanted to die instead of him.

Instead, I wanted to be the person who sank under the water there.

He told me about the days he was waiting for me, he was angry with me for not telling him when I would come late, I understood him now.

Now I was waiting for him. Just as he was waiting for me in this room.

I got out of bed with his T-shirt in my hand, grabbed his book from the head of the bed and went into my own room.

The light was dimly on, when I saw the person lying on the bed, I put the things on my hand to the armchair in the corner.

Ilya was sleeping on my bed.

And in an instant, that image disappeared from my eyes and was replaced by NuNew, who was lying on my bed, sleeping with nothing on, tucked into the blanket.

When I saw him in my own bed after the night we made love in this room, I was momentarily fascinated.

He was like an angel who was sleeping in my bed.

He was like a baby was lying in my bed. An innocent baby...

That bed wasn't just mine anymore, it was the two of us, and I couldn't sleep in that bed without him. I wouldn't be able to sleep even if I went to bed.

Flashback

As he just lay there, I walked up to him and watched his big swollen lips, stroking his hair that was reaching his eyes and smoothing it.

All of a sudden he was trembling under my hands, he was crying, he was shaking, he was calling my name.

"Zee.. I have to reach him, I have to go to him..."

I held his face. "NuNew, I'm here."

"P-please let me go, I can't leave him..."

"Nu? It's not real, it's just a nightmare..."

And the fear I saw in his eyes when I woke him up.

Are you that scared of losing me, tiny?

Do you love me this much?

What did I do to deserve your love, little one?

My beauty...

NuNew.