Perfecto || lukamos [english]

Bubble Gum

Sergio was paying his own debt.

No matter how many games he had played, Sergio was used to receiving the euphoria of victory with open arms, an ecstatic heart in his chest, and joy was something he was always willing to let in, 'cause he preferred that before the pain caused by being defeat, but Sergio had lost since Luka closed that door without saying anything and the feeling of pain melted bitterly under his tongue, because although there was no response, the reaction spoke what his words couldn't.

The moon witnessed the pain and mercifully allowed him to sleep as soon as he touched his pillow, now the sun had risen and next to it a painful and hopeless feeling eclipsed his heart in the morning, clouding her vision and stinging his throat.

Waking up was like a knock on a wall of reality, aware of the pain and the absence of the Croatian's «good morning» shining on his cell phone reminded him of the slip of the words that were spinning around his head.

He didn't know where those words had come from, but Sergio knew well that he never thought about things until the consequences were right in front of his nose; now he was drowning in repeating his confession over and over again. And that's okay, because he can take it. He can take it, he can handle it, it's his fault after all, so he has to handle it.

Don't misunderstand him, he had fallen in love many times and with that, a large part of them was also rejected, but for some reason with Luka was different and now the feeling of terror settled in his stomach because he didn't want him to get away.

With Luka it felt different, it felt special, he didn't understand how not everyone was at least a little in love with him. He loved to see him sleep and see him laugh and see him play, he loved him so much that his heart squeezed until it exploded and now he couldn't close the Pandora's box that he opened with him.

He sat on the edge of his bed, he felt his head rocking and his body aching as if he had spent a day too heavy and with a lot of physical over-exertion. He didn't know what reaction he expected from Luka, he didn't even know if the older man would like men, much less him, but there was a hint of false hope in his brain that he felt they were meant to be, but the wind extinguished the flame that he lit his hope in the blink of an eye, leaving only misery in its wake.

He rubbed his eyes because they were starting to itch and got ready for his day because there was no time to rest when the games were going one after the other, this wasn't a movie where you can wallow in your misery, real life was hard and losing was a bitter feeling that you had to swallow, and if he wrapped his wrist with one of Luka's hair garters then it was a secret between him and the sun.

...

Inadvertently or not, he was the last to arrive at training that day, but not enough to receive more than a disapproving look from Zidane.

Everything seemed normal and at the same time it didn't seem to fit together, it was too obvious that Luka and Sergio avoided each other like the plague, and if the day before was strange, now it was worse; Nobody said anything, of course, they just shared confused glances with each other and pitying one of them. That in a certain way made them both change, Sergio duller, Luka more uncomfortable and the atmosphere tense because of it.

Sergio felt tired like he never did, he tried to keep up, he tried to keep pace, he followed every guideline and performed every exercise, but somehow he managed to look pathetic in everything and he could feel everyone's eyes on him, of all but the only look that he wanted, that day only the shadow of what Sergio Ramos really is was shown.

He understood that they couldn't live like this forever, he knew it better than anyone, but he also knew that Luka needed time and he shouldn't run to kiss him at the first glimpse of the day, so when he lost control of the ball he just pulled the garter on his hand to try to concentrate on training, before starting to run.