Classroom Of The Elite x Male Reader (Volume 1)

Chapter 5 : Realization and Acceptance

--- Back to the present ---

On the way to the dormitory, my mind can't help but wander to the nightmare that I experienced during my rest back in the infirmary.

The obscured faces of two people. Their worried conversation that I seemed to overhear and the whirring sound of a machine.

Although I have no recollection of such an event happening in my life, I can't help but feel a sense of familiarity as I witness it unfold in front of me.

It is still unclear to me as bits and pieces of the dream remained hazy whenever I try to remember. And every time, I am always greeted by a serious headache so I eventually gave up.

However despite this, one thing is for certain, I now know how I came into this world. With my limited knowledge, I can at least come up with a conclusion.

I died in my past life due to some experiment. I don't know how but that experiment somehow managed to transfer my consciousness into this body.

An experiment that delves into multidimensional travel.

"Did I really participated in such a thing?" I asked myself.

Why would I risk my perfect life in such a risky endeavor? No matter how I think about it, I'll always draw blank. As far as I remember, I always had an ideal life that every other person could only dream of. In fact even before I found myself in this place, I was in my last year of high school and was about to graduate with flying colors. And with my parents as my role models, I worked hard for it. A loving family, trustworthy friends and a wonderful girlfriend. It was all I could ever asked for. I just don't see myself giving up that life for anything else.

As I struggled to find a valid reason for my past self's decision, what draws me out of my inner turmoil was a familiar figure walking a few meters in front of me.

Her long black hair flowed down her back and swayed gently with her every step, adding a touch of elegance and grace to her movements. She looked confident and beautiful, with the sharp angles of her jaw and the soft curve of her cheeks highlighted by the way her hair framed her face. The sight of her was impossible to ignore.

Horikita Suzune.

'She's really on a league of her own.'  I thought as I continue to gaze at her from a distance. Every other thought I had before was momentarily forgotten with her appearance. My gaze eventually wandered down to her hand and the shopping bag she's holding. The realization slowly sinks in after recognizing the items she has. In the light novel, there is indeed something that involves Horikita purchasing certain items in a convenience store. 

If memory serves me right, after the entrance ceremony, Horikita and Ayanokouji coincidentally met each other at the convenience store. This was also the time they started questioning the school when they saw the free items offered at the store. The introduction of Sudou and the discrimination between Class D and other classes was also hinted at during that time.

The fact that Horikita is also going towards the dorms means that the event should have already ended.

"Should I go talk to her?" I said bringing anyone's initial thought of talking to one of their favorite characters after seeing them in real life to words.

I shake my head not long after.

"No, it is not ideal. At least in this situation." I said bringing myself back to reality.

I know of Horikita's character and suddenly introducing yourself to her out of nowhere will only bring about the opposite results that you would hope for. In the end, I decided to take my time. There's still too many variables to consider. And my own well-being takes precedence among all of them.

I stared at my hands with uncertainty.

Oddly enough, even after I found myself inside this novel, neither did I felt excitement nor happiness. All I felt is a sense of discomfort. I feel like my very existence here is unnecessary and unwanted. And truthfully so. I didn't belong here. I don't have any right to meddle with their world. After all, everything here is as real as it can be. I cannot think of this place as a mere novel.

Even this body does not belong to me.

Before I know it, conflicting emotions started welling up inside me.

I should have been dead.

Do I really have the right to live this life? Even though this person didn't appear on the original story, it doesn't change the fact that he still existed. And I'm taking it all away. His life and identity. Can I really live this way?

I can't help but feel guilty towards this unfortunate soul.

"I'm sorry. I really am but what happened was out of my control. I promise I'll do my best to live a life you and I will be proud of."

My heart skipped a beat involuntarily.

No matter how innocent or how guilty you are, a person can never be selfless. If I want to continue living, I need to accept this body as my own.

I soon arrived at the dormitory. I took out my keycard and opened the door to my room.

The scene reminded me of the time Ayanokouji first entered his room.

Though the both of us will be beginning our new lives at this school, Ayanokouji and I have different circumstances altogether.

I can't believe it. Comparing myself with the protagonist? What a joke.

I am nowhere near him. This whole world was created solely for him. While I'm just an anomaly. An existence that shouldn't exist.

I sighed.

Whether I like it or not there's no denying the fact that I am now a part of this world. I have no choice but to accept this new reality that I have been given.