"Thanks for calling me. " Murtasim said to the group of students who called him to inform about Meerab. How they saw her car crashing with a tree which was on the roadside.
"Your cousin is fine physically. We checked her first. But I think she's in shock due to the accident. She was not telling us anything. We had to search on internet for vehicle registration." A girl from the group told him.
"Ok I should take her to hospital now. Thankyou again." He said. The group left from there.
"Chalo pehle hospital chalte hain. Phir ghar jaege." Murtasim said extending his hand to Meerab who hadn't moved a bit since he had found her. She was sitting like a statue. Dressed in pale pink suit. Her dark locks encircling her pale face. She was looking like porcelain doll. Which may break if you touch it.
"Meerab chalo." When she didn't move he said with suppressed anger. First she had put her life in danger and now she's making it really hard for him to talk gentlely to her.
She looked a his extended hand then without looking at him stood up and start walking in opposite direction.
"What do you think you are doing. Mene kaha gadi me betho." Murtasim growled grabbing her hand to stop her. His patience was slipping.
"Chhode mera haath. Aur door rahen mujhse. " she shouted at him trying free her hand from his grip.
"Enough Meerab. Gadi me beth rahi ho ya gaud me uhta ke bithau." His voice simmering vexation.
"Aap ko koi haq nahi banta mujhpe is tarah haq jatane ka. Jabke aap aj kisi aur ko apne naam ki angoothi pehna chuke hain. Jaiye Maya ko bithaiye is gadi me." She retorted furiously, shoving him back. She turned to walk away when a car passed by her with high speed. A hand pulled her back.
"Dimagh khrab ho gaya hai. Marna chahti ho kya?" He shouted at her holding her in circle of his arms. Had she been her usual self she would have felt how they were in an inappropriate position. Had she been her usual self she would feel that he was also shivering not just with anger but also with fear. But she was not herself. She devastated. Her heart was ripped into pieces and the person who broke it didn't even know.
"Aapko kya farq padta hai main marun ya jiyu." She shouted back at him trying push him to get out of his embrace.
"Chahti kya ho tum? Jab janti ho tumhe driving nahi ati hai phir bhi above speed limit gadi chala rahi thin. Sun saan, viran sadko pe pagalon ki tarah bhag rahi ho. Kyun kar rahi ho ye sab?" He said tightening his grip on her arms. His eyes were bulging with fury.
"Kyunki zehar lag rahe hain aap mujhe. Zeher lag rahi hai ye sab tayyariya, ye sajawaten." She freed herself from his grip finally because her words had shocked him. He had turned stone still.
"Kyuki muhabbat karti hu main apse. Aur mera dil chah raha hai me kisi ki jaan le lun." She was shouting like a crazy women moving backwards, yet het eyes, which had turned red with rage, never left his face. "Mera dil chah raha hai main kisi ki jaan le lu. Maya ki to nahi le sakti, to khud ki hi sahi." Saying that she turned back to move towards the middle of the road, which brought Murtasim out of the shock state. He grabbed her hand to pull her back to him.
"Agar ek baar aur marne ka naam liya to khud goli maar dunga tumhe." He shook her with all his might by grabbing her by her upper arms. His eyes too had turned firy red. Which brought Meerab back to her senses. She stilled then and there. All her pent up energy leaving her. Only shame and embarassment left. He pulled her by her hand to the car. He opened the car door with so much force that it might tear off its hinges. He pushed her inside.
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"Kya zarurat thi tumhe akele gadi lekar jane ki? Agar hotel se payment ke liye phone aya bhi tha to tum kisi ko bata detin. Wo to shukr hai khuda ka ke tumhe kuch hua nahi." Phuppo said giving her medicine for anxiety and trauma that doctor had subscribed. Murtasimhad made sure that she sees the doctor even when she had told everyone she was alright. Phuppo and Maryam had been fussing around her since she had get back to home. How could she tell them that her own embarassment was enough of a medicine for her.
Murtasim had made up a story about some call from the hotel where the wedding was to take place. She should be thankful to him because her brain had stopped working when Phuppo asked her that why did she went alone.
The whole ride back to home was an ordeal for her. They didn't utter a single word. His knuckles had turned white on stearing wheel due to anger. To her relief when they came home the ceremony was over and all the guests had already left. She could sense Maya didn't like Murtasim living in the middle of the gathering. Anwar hachu also objected that he should have at least informed them and every one was asking about the would be dulha.
"Main bas sona chahti hu. Thodi dair aram kar lungi to theek ho jaugi." She said to Phuppo. Who just humph in disappointed and turned off the light and left the room.
She tossed and turned on her bed but sleep was nowhere to come. When a knock on the door drew her attention.
"Andar a sakta hu?" It was Murtasim, the last person on the earth she wanted to see. She stilled where she was. Facing the wall opposite to the door, her back turned to him. He entered the room when she didn't respond, he came inside but stand leaning on the farthest wall from her.
"Main janta hu tum jaag rahi ho. Tumhe kuchh kehne ki zarurat nahi hai. Wese to mujhe yaha nahi aana chahiye tha. Lekin ek akhiri baar apni zimmedari samajh kar tumhe samjhane aa gaya. Ye jo tum mere liye mehsoos kar rahi ho wo muhabbat nahi hai bas ek infatuation hai. Is umar me esa hi lagta hai ke jaan de dena muhabbat ki inteha hai. Lekin ye buzdili ki aur bewaqoofi ki inteha hai. Muhabbat apni chahat se zyada dusre ki behtari ka khyal rakhna hota. Apne dil ko bheech ke samne wale ki izzat or khush hali ko tarji (priority) dena hota hai." His words only increased Meerab's sense of embarassment. If only she had turned around she would know he wasn't saying that for her but speaking from some suppressed corner of his heart. "Main tumhe yaha sharminda karne nahi aya hu. Bas samjhane aaya hu ke ek saal baad tum is din ko yaad kar ke hans rahi hogi."
He was talking about muhabbat like he he knows what true love is. While she knows he is an emotionless man. She thought rolling her imaginary eyes in her head. She was already laughing and crying in her head because of the fool she had made of herself in front of him. She wished he would just shut up and leave her but she didn't have the guts to voice her thoughts because of the shame she had brought on her had today with her stupidity.
"Jab us raat mene tumse shadi ke liye mana kara tha.... mujhe laga tum bhi is rishte se khush nahi ho. Lekin ye tumhare liye behtar hua kyuke agar koi ehsas tumhe khud ko nuqsan pohchane par amada (compelled) kar de to wo muhabbat nahi obsession kehlata hai." Did he think that she deliberately took the car to harm herself? Oh god, why doesn't this ground open and burry me inside. Meerab thought. She would never try to harm herself. Not even for Murtasim. He must have taken her angry words too seriously to think like that.
He took a long breathe "Meerab tum is sabse boht upar ho. Tumhare parents tumhe ek mazboot aur ba kirdar insan ke roop me dekhna chahte the." Oh why doesn't he just shut up.
"Main janta hu mujhe koi haq nahi hai. Lekin ek cousin hone ke nate tumhari fikr karna mera farz hai." He said moving towards her bed. So we are again talking about farz. "Shahzain achcha ladka nahi hai. Main chahta hoon tum ussey doori banaye rakho." Now he's giving her lecture again on being ba-kirdar. She had had enough. She turned around half sitting on her bed.
"Seriously? Aapse se to achcha hi hai. Kam se kam apni mangi ke din raat ke andhere me kisi ghair ladki ke kamre me to nahi jata." She spat in anger. She wanted to hurt him like she was hurting. He flinched like she had physically hit him. She knew she had crossed the line when he turned still like a statue. He turned pale under his natural tan.
"Theek hai." He swallowed "Tumhe aj ke baad pareshan nahi karuga. Mubarak ho tumhe tumhari dosti aur tumhari zindagi." Saying that he turned around and left the room.
Meerab fell back on her bed. She achieved what she wanted. He had promised to leave her alone. And she knew that he will keep his promise till death. But was she happy? No. She wanted to call him back and tell him that she doesn't care about any other guy in this whole world except him. To erase that hurt from his eyes. To tell him that she had always cherished his care and attention. But she could not. She should not. And she hated herself for being so weak where he was concerned. Gradually exhaustion and medicines showed their effect and she fell asleep.
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Deewangi
RomanceEXCERPT "Kyu? I had protected you from everything all my life but who will protect you from me." He voice was so low she wouldn't have heard him had he not been this close. But his words froze her. She looked at him in horror. He won't do anything...
