Cat's Out of The Bag

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  "So, this is New York, huh?" Y/N takes it all in, doing a slow spin to look in every direction.

  "Yup. Initial reaction?"

  "I thought it would be... cleaner," Jess scoffs.

  "You did not just say that, it's a city, not a strip mall," Then he notices her cheshire cat smile. "You're screwing with me,"

  "I heard a rumour that people from here hate that, wanted to test out the hypothesis,"

  "Have you ever thought about doing stand up? You'd be a shoe-in," Jess smirks, "You still hungry?"

  "It's like you know me or something," She leans up and kisses his cheek. "Okay, since you're my acting tour guide, what would you recommend?"

  "I have something in mind," He grabs Y/N's hand and heads down a street with the conviction of the local he is.

-

  "Can we stay here, forever?" Y/N says as she browses the vinyl records, flicking through mindlessly.

  "In this store? I think it would be unfair to make the owner stay past closing hours just for us,"

  "No, you goon. This city. It just feels like me,"

  "I have to admit, it suits you," Y/N just blushes in response. "You know you have to go back right?"

  "We," She corrects.

  "Right... We,"

  "What was that?" She asks, confused as to why Jess seemed so unsure.

  "Hm? Oh, nothing, I just realised if we don't head back soon they might put out an APB,"

  "Or throw a celebration party, I'd hate to rain on that parade,"

-

  "Ugh, the air is so dead here. Now I remember what I'm missing from city living, everything feels oh so quiet,"

  "Well, at least Stars Hollow has a deficit of the stench of urine in its dead air, so that's a plus,"

  "How is it so quiet here, it's 5pm for God's sake! Let's go home and blast Björk until the speaker gives out that painful feedback,"

  "Björk, really? Oh... I get it,"

  "'It's, oh, so quiet'," Y/N sings, and Jess speaks along in time with her, shaking his head with a small smile on his face. "Does your face still hurt. It looks... well, it looks like you took a proper beating,"

  "I think I'll survive,"

  "Good. I'm warming up to having you around all the time,"

  "Oh, yeah?" They both chuckle and enter the diner.

  "Where the hell have you two been, do you know what kind of state you left the apartment in, you know I'm not cleaning up after the both of you!"

  "So, you're telling me there isn't a magical fairy that does all the chores for us?" Y/N chirps up.

  "The school called me you know,"

  "Someone blabbed to the school about our current home situation? Now that wasn't very polite, they don't know what we might be going through," Jess chimes in.

  "They let you off easy giving you a warning for the fighting, especially with your history Jess, but skipping school the next day? They're discussing suspension here!"

  Y/N fake gasps, dramatically putting a hand to her heart saying "Oh no, not suspension! Bring up a strong talking to by the headmaster and I might faint!"

  Luke throws up his hands in exasperation, walking over to the table where Rory and Lorelai are feasting on their usual burgers and fries.

  "Rory is a freak of nature if these two are anything to be reference for the average teenager," He turns and Jess gives a salute before heading up the stairs, Y/N close behind.

  "Luke, if you live in those small quarters with that duo, especially now that they've become 'Laurel and Hardy', you'll have a heart attack. No amount of healthy eating will save you from an early grave at this point," Lorelai states, worried.

   "I don't want to move Lorelai, I like this place,"

  "How can you like it up there? From what I just overheard, it's a mess. And from what I've seen, a mess in that small of a space would be the norm, so if it's something to the extent of you flying off the handle over it, it has to be extremely bad. I'd guess 'Hoarders' bad',"

  Luke thinks on what Lorelai said for a moment. "Can you please watch the place for me, I'll just be a second?"

  Lorelai nods, a knowing smile on her face, "I'll make sure nobody starts a riot in your absence,"

  Luke storms into the apartment, catching Y/N and Jess in a very close, intimate situation. He freezes and the pair practically separate to opposite ends of the room. He splutters on his own saliva, shellshocked at this new revelation.

  "We're moving. Tomorrow," Jess and Y/N share an incredulous look.

  "What are you talking about?"

    "I'm talking about you two and me going out, getting a paper, and finding a new place to live,"

  "But, I-" Jess tries, but is cut off.

  "No buts. Ten o'clock tomorrow morning I want you both up, washed, dressed, and ready to leave, end of story. Now go to bed. Separate beds - go to your beds," He clarifies, still feeling awkward.

  "It's not even 7pm," Y/N laughs, living for his painful attempt at finalising everything.

  "Even better idea, come downstairs and either get to work or go away,"

-

  "Cat's out of the bag then?" Lorelai laughs, clearly picking up on Luke's eyes darting between the two teens under his guardianship.

  "I want to die. Quick and painless please? Haven't I suffered enough?" Y/N looks up to the sky.

  "Well if bargaining with God doesn't work, I hope you like having a 24/7 babysitter who has a weird obsession with flannel and salad,"

  "Did you put him up to this ridiculous idea of moving out, as soon as humanly possible?"

  "No," She says, suddenly very fascinated with the floor.

  "Yes," Rory exposes.

  "You really can't trust anyone nowadays, can you?"

  "Happy house hunting," Rory razzes.

  "You're both evil. I'm getting fries and pretending you don't exist." Y/N gets up, sticks her tongue out and then heads to the back area of the diner. Luke steps in the way of her path. "Are you about to ask me 'what's the password?' because I really hate that game. Hello, is anyone home?"

  "Jess is working the kitchen,"

  "Fascinating, now can you move please? Just a few inches to the side, you even can pick which direction to move in. Now that's an excellent offer, you wouldn't want to turn that down."

  "You can't go back there, where I can't see you if Jess is also back there where I can't see him. You chose to not work, so sit down and order like any other customer in here would," Luke crosses his arms stubbornly.

  "You'd let Lorelai go back there, and she doesn't even work here."

  "Yeah, but the difference there is that I don't have to worry about Lorelai and Jess doing anything inappropriate if they were back there together,"

  "Well that would be illegal, so I'd hope not. Come on your being ridiculous!"

  "If you want to eat, then go somewhere else, or sit down, place an order and then shut up," Y/N scoffs, giving in and slumping down into her chair at the table of the Gilmores.

  Not a minute later, Luke walks over, notepad in hand. "So, what would you like to order?"

  "I don't like you,"

-

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