The Girl in the River

Chapter 14

"Sage, your father and I are going to sit in our room for a while so you can talk. Brooks is down here now."

    Sage was still lying in her bed. An hour or more had passed and she was done crying, but she couldn't bring herself to get up and face the world again. It felt like a crossroads, that an impossible decision must be made before she could get back to her work. Or perhaps she was just too cold now for action; she had taken off her wet outer clothes but her shift and hair were still damp and the chilly air had been creeping into her despite the bedding.

    "I don't know how to start." Brook's voice came now from below. "This isn't too pushy, is it? We haven't been able to decide if we should leave you alone or not. Your Mom says you haven't made a sound up there for a while. Can't you just say something?"

    "I'm sorry." Sage said, her voice quieter than she'd intended.

    "You're sorry?"

    She pressed cold hands over her face and felt the icy tip of her nose.

    "I don't know why I'm acting like this. I've never done this before."

    "Your Mom told me that too." there was a smile hanging on those words. "I came back to apologise to you though, I really didn't mean to upset you so much."

    Sage was distracted by the smile. Hearing gentleness in his tone was making her want to cry again. That was ridiculous, she was supposed to be angry right now, at him. The warmth of tears building sent pinpricks across her sinuses and made her sniff.

    "Could you come up here?" she asked.

    "Up there? Your parents would kill me."

    "Please?" she sniffed again.

    After a pause, she heard him on the ladder. Her little loft had the only window in the cottage, it was paned with oilcloth instead of glass but even that let in some light. Enough light that when Brooks poked his head over the ledge he could see her sitting in her blankets, tousled hair and dressed in a shift. He froze.

"Seriously, Sage. Your Dad is going to chop me up with his pottery tools."

She held out her arms, and he stopped hesitating.

"My Dad's tools are our livelihood, he's not going to risk ruining them on you." She said, pressing her face into his shoulder.

"You're so cold! You shouldn't have been up here so long without drying off."

His warm arms were just bringing more tears. Sage was trying to hold it together, but it was such a relief to have a person's shirt to cry into instead of her old lumpy pillow.

"I thought you were angry. Please, can't you just be mad? Yell at me some more instead, I hate this."

"I'm just so tired," she whispered. "I can't stay angry when I'm tired like this. I just - I feel old. I wish I could relax and enjoy things but there's always so much work to do, I'm scared all the time and I hate the way people think of us. You're not the only one who's said things about my parents, and they love me so much - so much. They think about me all day long and I don't know how to make anything easier for them. I can't sleep at night because they love me so much."

She said all this between sobs, trying to stay quiet so she wouldn't be overheard. Brooks held her tighter than was necessarily comfortable and made sounds like he was trying to soothe an anxious horse, but he didn't interrupt. Being able to say the words out loud for once was a kind of release she'd never experienced.

"All that is over now, okay? All three of you are going to be fine from now on, I promise. I'm so sorry. I should have known it would hurt your feelings."

He shifted a little to put some distance between them and took her face in his hands. It was a little awkward now, to be huddled together like this; her damp cheeks and the cold air. Sage was waking up to the facts of it all and getting more embarrassed by the second.

"I'm so excited to take care of you," he said.

She could see her own awareness reflected in his eyes, and in the slight self conscious twitch on the side of his mouth as he said it. Wasn't it kind of a weird thing to say to a future wife? She would always have had to depend on him whether they spoke of it or not, but it still felt strange.

"I'm not a little girl, you know. I don't want you as a replacement for my parents."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Providing for a wife is different than raising a daughter."

"I understand that."

"You're sure?"

"At least, I'll always try. All I meant is I want to see you happy. I want to give you whatever would make you happy."

Sage was letting herself move out of eye contact now, turning her face a little, letting a shoulder angle away from him. He was unphased, moving a hand up and down her arm. His poise and confidence were already coming back.

"I'm not very used to getting things," she said softly.

"We'll have lots of time to practise that."

That's what made her neck give out. A hot blush spread across her cheeks and she let her chin tuck down to her chest.

"That's still what's happening, right? You're not going to give me my seal back?" he pushed, his voice had a note of fun in it again.

"No."

"Good."

He leaned closer as he said it, close enough that she felt the low tone rumble in her chest. He couldn't reach her lips with her head tilted the way it was, so he kissed her cheek until she turned towards him. With him leaning as far towards her as he was, it felt the most natural for Sage to also lean herself, backwards into the mattress. When the spinning started in her head that's what she did, hanging onto his shirt collar as she went.

"All right, it's freezing back here." Sage's father announced as he burst dramatically through the bedroom door. "Haven't you kids worked it out yet so I can sit by the fire? Oh, Hennie, it looks like Brook's is gone. Did you kick him out, Sage? HEY! Is that a boot I see up there? So help me daughter, if you let that boy climb up your ladder I'm using it for kindling. Aha! Get down! Out! I should have known better than to let a male person anywhere near our girl! Don't hand him his coat, Hennie, maybe the cold air will bring his sanity back. Don't think I won't be speaking to your mother, boy, I -"

Sage had crawled to the edge with Brooks to give him a parting smile as he was hustled out the door with an indignant lecture following him down the street as far as her father's voice carried. Her mother only went back to her work, just daring to give her the tiniest twinkling wink over her shoulder.

*

Hahaha GET HIM, DAD
-Laura