Fallen

9 - all's fair

Atticus left me there on the bed, alone in the loft, to empty myself of tears. It felt like draining myself of emotion, the way that the nothingness took its place. I laid there, numb, eyes sore, staring up at the skylight.

Clouds passed overhead and I imagined how the breeze would feel winding through my hair. I remembered my first moments on this plane and how alone I had felt. Now, sharing space with another, I realized how little I had understood loneliness.

More tears surfaced from somewhere deep. How could there be more? How do I turn this off? I rolled onto my side, pushing my face further into the pillow, my body shuddering with a silent sob.

I wanted so badly to move on; to pick myself up and go downstairs to face the demon waiting there. He had been playing me with every move, but to what end? This couldn't all be based on boredom... could it?

He was going way off course if he was trying to bed me. It almost felt like he had conflicting motives. Part of him was trying to appeal to my compassion while the other was hell-bent on torturing me just for the entertainment of it.

Maybe I could help him pick a side? I was all too aware that my threats only worked about fifty percent of the time and I didn't have much more up my proverbial sleeves. Betterment would never work to motivate him but maybe I could show him something worth fighting for.

Sitting up, I ran my hands over my face. My eyes were so tired, but I needed to tether to this sense of direction. I bounded down the stairs making a beeline for the bathroom. Washing my face, I felt a modicum better. Red still marred the whites of my eyes making the gray of my irises look darker. I took a deep breath before moving into the fray.

Atticus was standing in front of the bay window, arm bent forward, presumably to hold his drinking glass. Anger built within me until I saw him shake his head 'no.' I paused, watching as he stood there wordlessly before he chuckled into his cup and took a swig.

What the hell was going on?

I approached steadily until I was just a few feet behind him. He shrugged before turning around, eyes widening as he took me in.

I looked past him and locked eyes with our pet. "Are you communicating with the cat?" Baffled, I searched his face.

He steeled before me. "Yeah, we tell each other 'knock knock' jokes. What's it to you?" he asked, taking a step forward.

I stood my ground. "I'm serious. Are you communicating with that cat?" I annunciated my words, glaring up at his icy blue gaze.

"Careful," he said, taking another step forward. "You're dangerously close to losing your cool."

He was right. I had been doing a pretty good job keeping myself in check since I had last picked myself back up but the addition of this new potential lie was going to put me over the edge. If I did, I would be knowingly giving him the opportunity to mesmerize me. I would be at his mercy.

My gaze drifted to the door.

"Don't even think about it," Atticus spoke condescendingly.

Launching forward, I reached the door first but the creature behind me body-slammed into me, holding me against the surface. "What're you going to do, huh? You can't go near him but he sure as hell can come near you. If he touches you, your soul is gone, not away, gone. I'm not lying about that." His grip took hold of my forearms, stilling them against my torso. "Are you really willing to risk that?" He paused for a moment. "To risk me?"

I stopped pushing against him and slowed my breath. "I can't believe a single thing that comes out of your mouth," I said quietly, feeling dejected. Face resting against the hardwood, I closed my eyes.