Locked Fates

06. six

Giuliano knew Joanna didn't want to raise the question even if she was dying to know if he had been busy while they had broken up.

'I don't have a girlfriend,' Giuliano said, not taking the obvious opportunity to tease her, since his romantic endeavours were his least favourite thing to talk about.

'You've not even dated anyone?'

'Because you have,' Giuliano's eyebrow shot up, his jealousy rousing just as quickly. It really wouldn't be hard for Joanna to find someone willing to date her, but that didn't mean he needed to like it.

'I wasn't allowed to? Was I not single?'

'Was?' That calmed him down a little bit, because he agreed with her. She definitely wasn't single anymore.

'Am, whatever,' Joanna corrected herself, attempting to play it cool, but her reddened cheeks betrayed her. 'You didn't reply, though, have you been seeing anyone?'

'I think it's better if we don't talk about it,' Giuliano tried to dodge her question. There was no way he could make it sound good, but seeing Joanna's reaction, he realised him not wanting to talk about it didn't help either. 'I might have had a few hookups. I'm sorry.'

'With the same person? Actually, don't answer, I don't want to know, it's just going to drive me insane.' Joanna placed her head on his lap, stretching her body onto the sofa. 'We do so much harm to our relationship when we're broken up,' she said in a sad whisper.

'Then why do you keep breaking up with me?' Giuliano had always been scared to ask, knowing her answer would shatter his self-esteem if she gave him the actual reason for her breaking up with him.

'My therapist says it's because I'm scared you'll realise how much everyone wants you and you'll leave me for someone else.'

'I don't want anyone else, though, I want you,' Giuliano mumbled confused, why would she even think of that when they were fourteen? Who did they even know? 'I've only ever wanted you.'

Giuliano thought he should feel shame for how many times Joanna had broken up with him and he had still gotten back with her, but he couldn't help it. The last time they got back together, he had promised himself he would move on if she broke up with him again, but that was easier said than done when he saw her in the flesh.

Joanna was the only one he wanted, the past year had really showed him how impossible it would be for him to move on. Any woman who slightly interested him was similar to Joanna, reducing his interest in them to zero. It felt like he was settling for a different version of Joanna since he couldn't have the one he wanted and that would have been embarrassing.

'How would you know? I'm the only person you've ever been in a relationship with.'

'Do you want to be with someone else, then?'

'No, but I've been in a relationship with other people, and I still wanted to be with you. I know I want to be with you.'

'I don't have get in a different relationship to know you're the only one I want, hence why I can't get in a relationship with anyone else.'

'You're sure you don't want anybody else? Not me and someone else?'

'You're the only person I want to be with, Joanna, you know that.'

'I think I know, but you make me so insecure,' Joanna admitted in a whisper. Why did she tell him that, she thought, immediately regretting her words.

'I make you insecure?' Joanna saw Giuliano's perplexity as he tried to make sense of what she was saying. 'What have I ever done to make you feel less than?'

'You've not done anything, it's just, everyone wants you and it drives me insane.'

'But I don't want them,' Giuliano asked in exasperation. 'How are you gonna make me pay because other people think I'm attractive?'

'I know, Giuliano, I know,' Joanna agreed with him. Her own insecurities had shaped that thought, Giuliano had done nothing but show her time after time that he was only interested in her.

Joanna's phone rang on Giuliano's side table, forcing her to get up and answer Nisrine's call.

'Hey, schat,'  Joanna said as she answered the phone.

'Broer, waar ben je, waarom antwoord je niet?'

'Ik ben nog steeds bij die andere gast. We zijn aan het praten.'

'Ooh, heb je nog tijd nodig bij hem?'

'No idea,' Joanna said in Dutch. 'I think he's sick of me.'

'You should give him some space to think, then. You're still in our hotel, right?'

'Yeah, I'll come downstairs to get ready.'

'À l'aise.'

'Bye.' Joanna hung up the phone, turning towards Giuliano, deep in thought on the balcony. 'My friend and I were going to jet-ski at eleven, do you mind if I still go,' she asked, their conversation was far from being finished, it felt rude to leave.

'I don't, don't worry about it,' he said, turning to look at her. He was sexy. Fuck. 'Don't walk around the hotel in underwear, though.' Joanna was wearing his boxer briefs, so nothing was that exposed, but she just nodded.

Joanna reached for a hug, wrapping her arms around his shoulders from behind and placing her head on his.  'I missed you,' she said, rubbing his upper arm. Giuliano, didn't speak, instead he pressed her into him and gave her arm a gentle squeeze.