Wraith Walker

Chapter 16

     She was stark naked in the long grass on the bank of the river when Helisant found her a few hours later. After leaving the camp, Tamsin followed the river cutting a path through the forest. 

     The current picked up, rolling over thick rocks and logs that were wedged deep in the rapids. Soft earth collected in the traction ridges of her boots, melding with the leaves and twigs that rested on the banks.

     There was a break in the rapids finally, and the water flowed soft and deep for nearly half a mile before picking back up again. The bank was swathed in long grass folded over in small trails by animals who came to drink, and hedges of porcelain berries surrounded the clearing. Here she had stripped and swam.

      Perhaps it was because it was so close to Samhain that she was so on edge. She'd always been sensitive to the thinning of the veil, but this year seemed worse than the others. There was just...so much. From the moment she woke up, on the road or in her own bed, her head was thick with things to deal with. The hunt, the palace meetings, the safety of the Wraiths, Sasha and how and what he was doing at every point of the day, what road they needed to go down, what threats they needed to watch and scout for, when she could sleep, when she could eat.

     There was so much to consider that sometimes she could feel it pushing out against her skull, a headache forming before she could even pull herself out of bed—a chore in itself. She had so few moments where she could just...be. Just lay with a quiet head, no one bothering her.

      She'd gotten to the point a few months ago, after her big fight with Sasha that she could just turn everything off when she wanted to. No thoughts, nothing pressing against her. Simply going about the day as if someone else was controlling her. Someone else would dress her, would choose what she wanted to eat, would eat for her. The words she spoke were said by someone else, her actions were even and safe. Sometimes at the end of the day she would fall asleep, not remembering how she got to bed.

      How nice it would be for someone else make the big decisions for her. But who could she ask to take on that burden? Sasha had enough on his plate, as did Helisant. She couldn't ask them to take on more so she could have a break. No. The only way out of this was to find the girl who was the Seer, and bring this to an end. Only then could she rest.

      So she had swam. Despite the cold night and colder waters, she had stripped and entered the water, freezing mud between her toes. She relished in the cold—the stinging at it touched her skin, the angry cramping of her muscles and way her fingernails began to turn blue. For more than an hour she had lived in that pain, using her magic to keep the chill out just enough to prevent hypothermia, to prevent her muscles from cramping so badly she would go under and never resurface. For more than an hour she lived in that cold, death's water lapping around her like a lover. For more than an hour, just as the veil was thinning around the world, she allowed the veil to thin between her own life and her own death.

     It took so much effort to get out of the river that she cursed herself, flopping onto the long grass and closing her eyes.

      "Are you trying to freeze to death?" Helisant asked. Tamsin knew it was her, could feel her magic, soft and probing, before she heard Helisant's heavy footsteps. She loosed her magic, allowing it to mingle with Helisant's.

      "I could never be so lucky." Tamsin murmured.

      "If you froze to death, Sasha wouldn't have to strangle you when you got back to camp." Her friend said, standing over her. "Why don't you have any clothes on?"