Waves of Us

bonus chapter | let it be

EMMIE

Watching as Cal walks outside to join Alex who's been enjoying some fresh air, I use this opportunity to approach Zach alone for the first time tonight.

It's been so long since we've spoken to each other as normal people again that I had almost convinced myself it would be awkward. Events aside, being away from someone for that long can do some serious damage, but certain people are like muscle memory. As soon as you start up again, you fall easily back into the routine. I can't pretend like we don't share a longer history than most others in my life.

The last time we talked, if I could even call it that, was the day I caught them at Alex's apartment. But the last time I saw Zach was more recent, even more recent than at Cal's housewarming party. Everything had happened so quickly at that party that it was easy to tune myself out. I barely registered Zach's face for more than a second before I was running out the door to find her. But running into him at the park with barely anybody else around was like an ice-cold bucket of water straight to the face.

I don't know why I froze. It's been so long since I've thought about him angrily. I guess the party felt more like a scene out of a movie while running into him there felt more like real life. At least at the party, there were so many moving parts that it was easy to get lost in the mix of it. There, surrounded by nature and the sound of our concurrently beating hearts, there was only us.

And Heather's dog that I was walking. Bless that dog because it gave me a reason to run away when it started chasing a bird and I almost lost hold of his leash.

Fast forwarding to this moment, watching his back as he stands in front of the sink washing dishes, I realize it was all just the shock of it all. An unexpected moment I hadn't mentally prepared for. Now, I feel even and content. There's no blood rushing, no heart pounding, no staticky breathing. I'm just one person standing in front of another and fully aware of those other two outside. Against all odds, I recognize first and foremost that these people, through all of our complications and triumphs, are a messy family. It matters more than anything else.

"Do you need some help?" I ask.

Zach briefly turns around before nodding. "Sure."

Rolling up my sleeves, I take over the rinsing while he does the scrubbing. Truthfully, I've never had a relationship end well enough to stay friends. Not that I can say that's necessarily what we are right now, not yet. But we're being far more civil than I've been with any of my other exes, so that says something. In hindsight, the time apart is probably what aided in this the most. A lot of my time spent away was spent getting to know myself again and reevaluating all of my past relationships, romantic or platonic.

"What do you think they're talking about?"

Zach laughs quietly. "Hell if I know. Could be anything from debating what game to murder us in next or the effects of climate change. There's no guessing with those two."

Working through the dishes as a two-person team means we move through them quickly. I speed through the icebreaker questions all the same—how's your mom? Dad? Where are you working now? Oh, that's cool. Glad you found something you like. Zach returns the favor, though he strategically avoids the more loaded questions about my family. As much as I'm willing to share everything that's happened in the past couple of years with him, I have no interest in unloading all of that right now at Cal's house. It'll just kill the mood with unnecessarily personal heartbreaks.

Of course, the first real conversation between us can't happen without something heavier, especially since the severed tied between us is sitting right outside.