Some of these aren't even good. But fuck it we roll. Also includes some fat jokes. So please don't kill me in the comments. Not my jokes!!!
That being said if anyone does take offence to any of the jokes I post, please don't hesitate to let me know and I'll remove. Tryna be humorous and lightening, not to make you feel sad or targeted. I love you <3
1. Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
2. My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
3. A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn't think anyone would stand up so she asked him, "Why did you stand up?" He answered, "I didn't want to leave you standing up by yourself."
4. Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.
5. You're so fat that when you got on the scales they said "I need your weight not your phone number"
6. You are so fat not even Dora could explore you.
7. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
8. You're so ugly that when you tried to enter an ugly contest the judges said, "sorry, no professionals".
9. You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.
10. You're so dumb that you thought a quarterback was a refund.
