Priceless- Ryunosuke Akutagawa x Reader

Lonely Silence

No one had seen or heard from you in days.
You weren't quite sure how many, as they all seemed to pass by in a haze. Everything blurred together numbly in your mind as you laid, unable to get yourself out of bed.

You rubbed your side, trying to sooth the pain as you swung your legs off the bed. You hesitated for a moment.

"I can't do this today." You rolled back over, curling in a ball. "It hurts so bad. I don't even- I can't-" you sobbed. You grunt in frustration and pull your blankets up to your shoulders. You heard a knock at the door. You grumbled a quick "come in." and flipped over to face the door.

Chuuya walked in holding a coffee and a box of donuts.

"Whaddup, punk?" He pulled a chair up next to your bed and sat down, offering you the coffee. You slowly drug yourself up, wincing as your side flexed. You took the coffee and gently rubbed your thumb across the cup's warm surface. It smelled amazing.

You didn't answer, just looked blankly at the coffee cup until Chuuya spoke again,

"We'd all love to see you back on your feet. It's hard to imagine what you're going through and I'm not great at comforting people really," Chuuya rubbed his neck, "but if you need to talk you can always call me. You don't have to be alone y'know?" Chuuya was very worried and that was evident in his pale, blue eyes. When you didn't answer he sighed.

You feel a knot settles in your chest as you think about Oda's last words to you. If you hadn't been stupid enough to jump at your enemy, would you've been awake to talk Oda out of his decision? You tighten your grip on the cup and let out a pent up sob.

The sound was sharp and took Chuuya by surprise.

"Why did Odasaku have to die? Why did he have to leave, Chuuya? Why did Dazai just leave me here to navigate this alone? " Your heartache seeped into your words as you finally let yourself grieve for the man who'd given you the world. You were devastated and lost without him and you felt abandoned by Dazai, the only other person that truly understood how you felt in that moment. "Why did Oda leave me alone?"

Chuuya stayed quiet. His eyes were shadowed and hidden by his hat as he placed a hand on your back.

"I don't know. I wish I understood why bad things happened to good people." He pulled you into a tight hug. "But what I do know is you are not alone. Far from it. I'm here to stay and I won't abandon you, f/n."

You had never seen Chuuya like this before. It was like you were being held by a completely different person. He was so gentle and his voice was soft. You hugged him back, resting your forehead on his shoulder.

"Thank you Chuuya."

"Hey, kid?" Chuuya asked. "I have something for you whenever you're ready. You don't have to read it alone but I don't want to keep it from you." Chuuya handed you a small envelope with your name written on the front. Your heart ached when you saw the familiar loopy pattern of Odasaku's handwriting. You took the envelope and held int to your heart as you again let your body cry out.

You had never felt so devastated in your life. Your chest hurt deeply from your cries and it felt like your heart was physically breaking. It felt like no matter how long or hard you cried, no matter how loud you sobbed, you couldn't get all your feelings out.

"Thank you so much." You hugged Chuuya again as you choked up.

——-

You managed to finally get yourself out of bed and walked over to your couch to watch a movie. It was now late afternoon and you began to get hungry. You hadn't had much of an appetite the last few days so you decided to take advantage of the one you had now and threw on some sweat pants and a graphic tee, brushing your hair and putting on a coat. You grabbed your cross-body bag and stepped out of your room for the first time since the night on the rooftop.