Doors open.

Holding it in.

As if my chest wasn't tight enough, as if I wasn't begging my body to just please work, those three little words, sent me over the edge. An edge I thought I already was over.

Has blocked you.

Like I did something wrong, like I was to blame. He was a child, immature. Quite literally made my life hell, was slowly turning my best friends against me, yet sits there and claims to be in love with me. This isn't what you do to someone you love. It just isn't.

Which is all the more reason on why I cannot be in love with Mattheo Riddle. He as mahnupiltive, controlling, possessive, and flipped like a light switch. I couldn't ever be with someone like that. Not ever.

"What happens when we go back to school?" he asked, while sitting on his bed, tracing pictures into my back with his fingers.

"I told you Matt, no strings." I knew this was coming.

"Why? Are you embarrassed to be with me?" I felt his mood, shift.

"I absolutely am not. But, were not together, I told you I didn't want to fuck up our friendship. You've helped me too much for me to let this go." I rolled over to look at him.

"I told you, you aren't going to loose me, I've seen all sides to you. I would never let you be alone, deal with this shit by yourself. Its too heavy.. But, I'm not sure I want to loose this." he looked genuine.

"So, say it Matt." I knew what he felt. I felt it too. I felt it for a while now, everything I was afraid of. Everything I wanted to avoid.

"Say what?" he knew exactly what I needed to hear.

"You know what." I tilted my head.

"Its more complicated than that, yn." he huffed.

"Say the words, and I am yours Matt." I sat up, inches from his face.

"You are mine." I heard the aggression in his voice.

"But, i'm not. You can make it that way, you know you could." my eyes traced from his lips to his eyes.

"You know I can't." he looked away.

The end, I knew was coming. The inevitable. It was here, because of his ego. Because he could never get over himself for two seconds to be honest with me. All I wanted him to say was, I want to take this seriously, I want you, I want us. I'll get out of my selfish ways.

But it never came.

I woke up, way past dinner. Way past I was supposed to meet Anthony. And possibly worse than when I went to sleep.

Ant🤍
7:35

Ant🤍
You weren't at dinner ?
Are you okay?
Draco said he seen you before and you looked a bit shaken?

Me
Omg
I am so sorry
I just woke up!!
I just haven't been feeling well lately. I am so sorry.

Ant🤍
Don't be sorry, I just want you to be okay.
There's something I need to talk to you about.

Me
Oh no

Ant🤍
Noooo!!!
Nothing bad I promise
I just want to do it in person

Me
Thank Merlin.
Can we do it in the morning?
I'll meet you for breakfast ? Just feeling a bit out of it.

Ant🤍
Sounds good to me my girl, I'm here if you need me🤍.