Knowing Asher

Chapter|69|

I winced as I tried to get up from the floor. My whole body aches and the painting was the first thing that caught my eyes. I scanned my surroundings realizing I slept by it.
That explained the pain I am feeling.
Then the void in my heart which made everything that happened yesterday replay in my head.
I really did break up with him, I was hoping it was a dream I was going to wake up from. I got up with so much difficulty and stretched my body. I craned my neck to the side to relax the muscles.
I walked to my wardrobe to choose an outfit for the day. I chose a black hoodie and leggings pairing it up with a black ankle boot.
I walked outside and headed to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and glanced at my reflection in the mirror. I looked the same but my eyes displayed the sadness I felt inside.
Nothing has changed but my emotions are all over the place.
It doesn't help that I also felt a pain in my lower abdomen.
Just my luck!
I stripped down to my baby suit and turned on the shower.
The water cascaded down my face and a thought came to my mind.
Nobody knows we aren't together again.
I am the one that's going to tell my friends.
I am the one that will suffer the mockery from our peers.
They will go on and on about how they predicted we wouldn't last.
I am the one that will be made fun of.
I am the one that would suffer humiliation because they would not believe I actually broke up with him.
This just got worse.
I turned it off and didn't even bother washing my hair.
I dried myself and went back to my room. I grabbed my tampon kit and applied it. I put on the outfit. The braids looks good on me and I still can't pinpoint why I wanted that.
I was just eager to change everything like it would make this pain go away.
I so badly want to skip school but I already missed a lot of classes. It will be so unfortunate if they actually remove me from the list.
Making all this be for nothing!
I headed to the kitchen grateful I didn't have to face my mom so early.
I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and sauntered back to my room.
I forced myself to eat the apple since I already lost my appetite.
I grabbed my bag and closed the door behind me. I walked to the bus stop with my AirPods plugged in.
I took my seat on the bus and tuned out of everything. I let the heartbreaking song envelope me and I felt another wave of tears coming up. I blinked it back and put the hood over my head.
I got down from my spot and walked to school. I hope I don't have to face my friends now because they would surely ask questions. I don't want anyone to find out.
Why did you break up with him?
It was the most logical thing to do or so I thought. I approached the entrance and made a beeline for my locker.
I couldn't fight the urge to release a grunt as I saw my friends standing right by it.
Why can't I just not to do this today?
"Hey girl"Amanda greeted and I responded with a wave.
"We didn't see you or Asher yesterday. Did you guys go somewhere private?"Angela asked wiggling her eyebrows and I scoffed internally.
"I have to tell you guys something" I started. "Can we go to an empty class?"I asked and they nodded plastering a worry look on.
We entered a class and I leaned on the door. "You guys should not freak out but I have got bad news" I said.
"You are freaking me out"Amanda said and I exhaled deeply.
"I broke up with Asher" I mumbled and they started laughing.
"You are joking right?"Amanda said after calming herself down.
"It's not even April Fool Day. That was months ago"Angela chimed in and I sighed. "Don't play a prank on us so early in the morning"Rose added.
"I am not joking guys. I really did break up with Asher. My grades were failing and the counselor told me that my Stanford scholarship could be taken away from me. I thought I had no other choice but to break up with him. I was doing everything right until he came along"I raised my voice a bit and I moved away from the door. "What?!"Angela said with a look I couldn't decipher.
"You guys were so good together. You were the It couple"Rose huffed.
"My grades weren't the It so I had to let him go" I replied rolling my eyes.
"I am sad you both broke up but I am hurt you kept all this away from us. We kept asking you if you were fine but you kept replying that you were. You had all this going on and you couldn't share with us. If we hadn't pressured you yesterday, I am sure you would have kept that little information from us. We are friends, hell we are best of friends but clearly you don't consider us that"Amanda said with an hurtful look. I was about to apologize but she stormed out in anger.
The other left after giving me that same hurtful look.
Great, I lost my friends also.
I winced as I felt pain in my lower abdomen. I should have taken a painkiller before leaving home.
I clutched my stomach and managed to settled down on a chair.
My senior year is going haywire.
So many heartbreaks!
I don't even know what to do. I should have told someone about my plans. I should have confided in my friends.
They are my best friends. I am so awful at handling relationships.
You fucking told me we've got this. Technically, we haven't gotten anything.
He is right, I really did betray his trust. I broke up with him just like that.
I plopped my hands down on the table and weeped softly. The bell rang and I was thankful I was in my right class.
I wiped my face and adjusted my hood to hide my face. I took out my book and supplies. People walked in and I didn't glance up from my book.
"Good morning student. I informed you last class that we are having our final test today. It's just for thirty minutes"Mrs Molly announced and started handing us the paper.
I fiddled with my fingers nervously not sure how I am going to do in the test.
What if I blackout again?
I took deep breaths.
I inhaled and exhaled countless times.
You can't fail this Stephanie!
Failing would make all this pointless, I would have lost the best boyfriend ever just for nothing.
I must ace this shit and show Stanford who the boss is.
I am still me and I am determined not to fail. I shoved all thoughts about Asher at the back of my mind. I plastered a confident smile on just as the teacher said START.
I opened the paper and glanced at the questions. I breathed a sigh of relief as I felt familiar with it.
It didn't look foreign like the old times.
I started scribbling down my answers.
Which of this converts protein to polypeptides?
"Five more minutes"the teacher announced as I dropped my pen.
I smiled as I glanced through my answers to crosscheck.
Now this is what I call a comeback.
From D back to an A!
The teacher hasn't even marked it yet.
Psssst!
I am sure of myself. Stop making appearance today!
"Time's up"she announced and started collecting the papers.
She got to me and glanced at my paper. "I hope this wouldn't be another disappointment"she muttered and I forced a smile.
That was harsh but I wish I could see the look when she grade me an A.
She collected the papers and went back to her table. "I am going to grade this now and give it back to you"she announced and I squealed internally.
It was pointless because there is no way I can know if it's my script she is marking.
It doesn't help she had a neutral look till the end. "This was average. I hope some of you can actually work harder for the final exam. I must say that some of you really surprised me and I hope you will keep up the good work"she said with her lips quirked upward.
She gave the scripts to a random boy and ordered him to distribute it.
I fiddled with my fingers as I waited for my script.
I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as the guy gave mine to me.
A
I smiled and squealed internally.
This is what I am talking about.
I am going share this news with A...
The smile disappeared as I recollected I BROKE up with him.
I just keep forgetting that.
The bell rang and I walked out with a sullen look.
Let's get this day moving.
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I don't want to go to lunch because I am sure people would find out about this.
You would face the consequences of your actions sooner or later.
My friends, I am not sure if I can even sit with them.
Sit at the very empty back chair. Where you truly belong.
Aren't you being helpful right now?
I clutched my stomach as it growled for the nth time. I should have ate something other than the apple.
I can either sit here and stay hungry or just go to the cafeteria. To see how the things goes.
"There you are Stephanie, I have been looking everywhere for you"Olive's voice came up and I groaned inwardly.
There is no way I can avoid that place now. I still gotta tell her and see if she would get angry at me like my friends.
"I just had a free period and decided to put it into good use. How do you know I was going to be here in the library?"I answered and packed my books.
"You are always here. This is where you and Asher escapades happen"she replied and I chuckled dryly. I thought all about our moments here in the library and closed my eyes tightly.
I can't breakdown again.
"Where is Ian?" I asked clearing my throat and she blushed.
"How..do..you..expect..me..to..know?"she stuttered and that made me giggle.
"You are always a stutter mess only when his name come up. That's a progress" I smiled and she settled beside me.
"It's all thanks to you. You made me get my self esteem back. You showed me what true friendship is. You scared those bullies off and started hanging out with me. You didn't need to do that but you stuck around. You..made..me..meet..Ian You mean so much to me, you are my best friend"she said and I sniffed. I pulled her into a hug. I didn't even know I meant this much to her.
"I really appreciate this" I said as I pulled away. "I need to tell you something important" I mumbled and she urged me to go on. I told her all I have been going through. She doesn't really know all about me failing. I told her about my conversation with the counselor.
I couldn't help the tears when I explained to her how I broke up with him.
"I broke up.. with him. I shouldn't..have.done that. He meant so much to me.. He treats me so well. He..deserves the award for the best..boyfriend..ever. I..ruined everything. I should .. have..talked..to..him.first. I .. just broke..up.. with.him.out..of..the..blue. He..didn't..deserve..that..at..all. Now..my friends are mad with me for..keeping..everything..away.from.them. It was a dumb..move"I hiccuped as I finished my story.
She pulled me back into a hug and patted my back softly. "Everything would be fine"she kept mumbling until I calmed down. "You took that drastic action because you thought that was the best. I think you should have talked to him first. Breaking up with him out of the blue is wrong" she said and I nodded agreeing with her.
"I know. Have you seen him today?"I asked and she nodded.
"How did he look?"I said wanting to fill my curiosity. I really want to know how he is faring. "He looked okay. He was even laughing with the boys and chatting with some cheerleaders" she responded and the only word I focused on was Cheerleaders!
I stood up and slung my backpack on my shoulder. I wiped my face and adjusted my hood. "Let's go have lunch" I said forcing a smile and she gave me a questioning look.
I pulled her up and tugged her towards the entrance. We greeted Mrs Pika as we walked out.
I was about to enter the cafeteria but she stopped me. She gave me a look and I could read the question in her eyes are you sure?
"I can't run away from him forever. Besides, I am really hungry. I didn't eat anything other than an apple this morning" I said and I heard her sigh.
"Olive"I called and she met my gaze. "I would be fine. This is taking a toll on you than me" I joked and she scoffed.
I exhaled deeply and walked in. Nobody spared me a glance as I went to get my food. "I think nobody knows anything yet"Olive whispered to me as we walked to an empty table.
We settled down and I adjusted my hood. I glanced around and my mood dampened as I saw him laughing with his guys. A girl in skimpy clothes was sitting very very close to him and I bit my lower lips. I popped a fries in my mouth and groaned. It tasted so bland but I forced myself to pick up some more.
I glanced at my friends and felt hurt when I saw them sitting at Asher's table.
I know I hurt them but come on.
They should be on my side.
I sipped my milkshake and looked around.
People are whispering and I glanced back at Asher's table.
The girl was sitting so close to him and trailing her hands on his chest. He kept smirking at her and that's enough to make people question the validity of our relationship. "I thought you were so hooked up on Stephanie but this is making me rethink that"one of the guys said loudly making everyone turn to their table to hear his response.
"I don't have a girlfriend any more. That shit isn't for me"his words cut me like slicers. A lot of gasps were heard and I was already moving to the entrance. "What?"I heard someone ask but I didn't wait to hear his response.
Tears blinded my eyes as my legs led me to wherever. I pushed open the bathroom door and entered an empty stall.
I fell to the ground and started sobbing.
"Stephanie"I heard Olive's voice and sniffed loudly. The door flung open and hands quickly wrapped around me.
"Calm down"she cooed and I didn't even have the energy to glare at her for treating me like a child. I relaxed into her embrace and took deep breaths.
"I am calm" I mumbled and she finally pulled away.
"How is it in there?"I asked as I wiped my face clean.
"It's loud. Everyone is confused. How you guys went from the golden couple to this"she explained and I nodded in understanding.
The bell rang and I got up. "We have math together"she said and I extended my hand to pull her up.
I scrunched my nose realizing I sat on the bare floor in here. "I am sorry you had to go through this with me" I mumbled as we walked out.
"You kidding me? I am glad I am here to help you"she replied and I smiled at her adjusting my hood.
I stood in front of the door to encourage myself. The people in there are sharks waiting to eat me up.
They will throw jabs but I will do my best to ignore them.
I can do it.
I wiped my face and licked my lips.
I nodded at Olive and turned the door knob. The screams came to an end at my appearance.
"There she is"someone said as I settled in my chair.