Crashing You Open \\ Reneé Rapp

Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

Jordan's POV

"I've never talked about this, so I guess I'll just start at the beginning" I felt my body tense as the memories  flooded in.

"When I was 15, I met my best friend, Ellie Zimmerman. We were inseparable from the moment we met. I wasn't sure how I felt about sexuality at that age, so I didn't know it yet, but I started falling in love with her the first time we talked."

9 years earlier

I was freaking out. It was the first day of freshman year and my older sister walked me to my first class. English.

As I looked around the room, I saw a girl in the back corner. She had long flowing black hair and tanned skin. She may have been the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen.

"Hi, I'm Jordan, can I sit here?" I nervously asked, hands shaking a bit.

"Hey girl! Of course you can, my name is Ellie" she responded

She smiled at me and got infinitely more beautiful.

It turned out we had almost all of our classes together. Walking to each one together, we bonded immediately. We were polar opposites but exactly the same in the ways that mattered.

Ellie came over after school and we sat for hours talking about everything but nothing at the same time.

I learned a lot about her; favorite color (red), favorite movie (Shawshank Redemption - an impressive choice, but pretty heavy and sophisticated for our age), 2 older brothers (made her tough as nails of course), and a concerningly intense fear of possums.

And no, I asked, but there is no traumatic story revolving around possums, they just freak her the hell out. I mean, valid but I will be giving her shit about that forever because they're such a little animal compared to the strong girl sitting in front of me.

Basically, she was amazing and I couldn't get enough of her, I needed to learn more.

As she left my house that night, she gave me a tight hug that communicated her joy and relief in making a new friend.

Scratch that. Best friend.

Current day

I snapped out of my daydream to Reneé delicately wiping a few tears off my cheek that I didn't even know had escaped.

I weakly smiled at her and continued.

"Sorry, I just miss her so much. I didn't just lose my girlfriend that day. I lost my best friend and the only person who has ever truly understood me."

"You never need to apologize for you feelings honey" she responded sweetly.

With that supportive statement I crumbled forward, covering my face with my hands. I was basically bent into Renee's lap with my head on her thigh sobbing with how close we had been sitting. She immediately began rubbing circles on my back with one hand while running her fingers through my hair with the other hand.

Eventually my breath was just hitching every few seconds. I sat up with my hands still covering my face in attempt to hide the damage my breakdown had on my appearance.

Reneé delicately grabbed my wrists and put my hands down. She wiped away my tears and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on my cheek.

"We don't have to talk about this anymore tonight, I'm sorry for bringing it up" Reneé said, looking equally concerned and saddened for me "Come here" she beckoned as she laid back.