𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐌𝐄, 𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ↷ aventurine ✔

𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙚, 𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙚

𝗛𝗢𝗠𝗘
40mP, deco*27

to you who sobbed as you looked at me who was
troubled yet smiling, i say: "welcome home!"
because yesterday and tomorrow as well,
there is a place here for you to come and say "i've come home!"

tw: brief mentions of abuse, slavery,
blood, and a pet name. nothing graphic.

i almost left. almost did plenty of times if i’m honest.
it's stupid, i know. running's always been my solution,
my way of gambling with the inevitable disaster that follows me around.
i’m selfish aren’t i? i didn’t even think how destroyed you would be.
but i thought it was better than dragging you down with me.

i’m a fool. me, a man who's gambled everything and walked away from worse,
nearly bailing on the one good thing i've got in my damn life. 
i know i don't deserve you. every day i wake up expecting my luck to run out,
expecting it all to go up in flames, you getting sick of me and leaving.

but everytime i come home, sometimes late, sometimes smelling like the deals i had to make, blood and all that,
and you're there, waiting patiently, eyes lighting up in relief and delight seeing me unharmed.
you smile, and that simple "welcome home" ... damn, doll, it's like finding an oasis in my damn desert of a life.
i’ll be here…if you’ll still have me.

love, kakavasha

deep down, aventurine was still the terrified boy sold at the slave market, his worth measured in a handful of copper coins. all the credits in the world, all the influence he'd acquired, couldn't erase that brand imprinted on his soul.

his gaze drifted to you, sleeping soundly. a pang of guilt and love twisted in his gut. you were the one good thing in his life, a beacon of warmth contrasting the memory of the cold shackles that once coiled around his neck and wrists. the way you smiled at him, the unconditional acceptance in your eyes... it was everything he'd ever longed for, and yet, it felt unbearably fragile.

aventurine always believed he didn't deserve this happiness, this soft illusion of home that your presence created. his hands, stained with blood from past betrayals and gambles gone wrong, felt contaminated. every day with you was a borrowed luxury, a ticking clock until his rotten luck inevitably turned, and he destroyed this haven as he'd destroyed everything else he touched.

a bitter laugh threatened to escape his lips. ending it... maybe that was the kindest thing he could do. spare you the pain of his inevitable downfall, let you find someone worthy, someone who wasn't cursed like him.

he tiptoed closer, unable to resist tracing a finger along your cheek. aventurine had already been through a lot—beaten, starved, used. but the thought of never feeling your touch again, never hearing your voice, was the one pain he wasn’t sure he could handle.

you stirred slightly, mumbling a soft greeting even in sleep, “kakavasha? welcome home.” his heart constricted. that simple welcome, offered so freely, had been his lifeline through countless dark nights.

your promise echoed, “when you say i’m back, i will always be there to greet you with a welcome home.” who was he kidding? he can fool others, but not himself. and aventurine finds himself holding onto your hand tightly rather than let go.

──────

𝖑𝖆𝖎. not proofread. i swear i didn't plan this to be angst-y when i first had the idea ;; white night was just a cool funny song but i can't even listen to it in peace without getting reminded of aventurine's predicament ;;

anyway, this is longer than usual because i wanted to get that all in, conveying his slow acceptance and him slowly opening up. i firmly believe getting into a relationship with aventurine would require tons of patience and reassurance, pre and when you're in a relationship together.