Chapter 20

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Kane

I'm used to angry Hannah , aggressive Hannah or even playful Hannah .

But a sad Hannah ... is not something I am used to or wish to witness anymore . I watch her from the counter as I pour her a glass of water , her blue beanie covering her wild brown hair , while she sits on my couch looking ahead , lost in thoughts . She hasn't said much ever since she showed up here unannounced , not that she needs an invitation to come over , she's always welcome to come to me .

I'm glad I came to her mind first to come see after the unpleasant encounter she had with Paget , in which she got to meet my cousin .

Darcy is a therapist and had been treating Paget Baldwin for years now .

That poor girl has a very complicated mental health , worsened by the awful things she witnessed and experienced as a child .

It is not my place to tell her story , which is why I can't reveal those details to Hannah .

My cousin wasn't the one who told me , it was Ellie . Apparently only the rich families in the same neighborhood as the Baldwins know the story and still ignore the consequences of it .

I head to the living room and hand her the glass of water .

« Thank you . » She says lowly I barely heard her .

I settle down on the couch beside her again , pushing a strand of hair from her face .

Sadness doesn't fit her , but I can see her guilt and remorse too , as if she was the one who led Paget to that state . I always thought they were dear friends from the first day they've met , never being separated or away from one another , plus they live next door to each other . But I had no idea that Hannah was not completely comfortable with the concept from the beginning .

« Are you cold ? Should I get you something to eat ? »

She shakes her head , putting the glass down on the coffee table and removing her beanie to run her hands through her hair , leaning forward and covering her ears with her hands , as though attempting to silence the world around her . I wrap an arm around her waist and pull her closer to my side .

« Come here . » She doesn't resist me , laying her head on my chest and squeezing her eyes shut . « It's not your fault . You've been a good friend . »

She's silent for a while , then I hear her taking a deep inhale of breath . « Back in my old school , the kids there would never approach me . I didn't care since my entire goal was not making friendships but rather getting straight As in all my subjects . » She places a palm on my chest , I press a kiss to her forehead and inhale the lavender scent of her hair , encouraging her to go on . « I used to see girls and boys in groups , laughing and joking and never inviting me . They all were jealous of me for being the best student in all my classes , which is why I never cared to befriend them . »

I listen to her carefully as she speaks of that time of her life she rarely mentions .

« When I came here , I had no problem spending my senior year isolated , it became my natural since I never ever in my life had a companion to keep me company anyways . » She chuckles humorlessly and I pull her closer , tightening my grip on her waist as I hear her words .

Being closed off on one's self doesn't come from nature . Human beings are not born to be lonely , unless they find company in loneliness and warmth in individuality .

« Paget was the first person who actually ... makes an effort to get me out of my shell . I always found it annoying , I found her annoying and pushed her away . Sometimes I was mean to her ... all because I just couldn't believe that she really cares ... nobody ever did ... »

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