Finding Love and Happiness

Chapter Six: Love and Happiness

"So I take it you are?" Todd finally says as we walk outside the clinic, a rollercoaster of emotions swarming inside after what I just heard.

"I'm pregnant but how is that possible?" I say out loud, it doesn't seem real no matter how many times I heard the doctor say I was, how many times I say it out loud or the image of the baby. He's there, he has been growing inside me and I can't stop wondering how did I not know?

"It's possible." Todd replies, a smirk across his face as if I don't know it was possible.

"Yeah but...but how could I not know? I mean I know what they said on the news but I feel so stupid for not even knowing it was possible. I didn't even know I was. How can I even call myself a good dad to Samantha? How can I raise another baby when I'm not capible to notice I have a life inside me?" I'm horrible. Skyeler is going to think I'm a bad person for not noticing I'm carrying our baby. He's going to hate me for being stupid. He's going to give me a disappointed look as if I'm some stupid incompetive person. Not  smart enough to notice something I should have right away from the first time this happened. I should know my body, know what's possible but I didn't. And I'm not even sure he's going to want the baby, want me after this morning. Why would he?

"Just calm down Brenden. Stop freaking out it's going to be fine." I hear Todd say through the flood of overwhelming thoughts floating inside my head.

I can't stop freaking out because I'm scared of all the what if's floating in my head.  "No, it's not. How can it be? How do you know? You didn't see the way he looked at me this morning. You don't know what he is going to say when I have to tell him. What am I going to do if he doesn't even want the baby? What am I suppose to do then?" I can't stop freaking out because I'm scared on the verge of a panic attack. Now I understand how Todd felt the day we walked out of the clinic.

"Take a deep breath. I promise it will be fine no matter what happens I'll be there for you, Hannah will and Samantha too. You need to stop overthinking and trust me everything is going to turn out fine. You've been a great dad to Samantha and I'm more than sure you be great with this baby. Rememer we didn't find out until months later. Speaking of which how far are you? What. a few weeks?"

"Four months." I rush out to say.

I watch his eyes widen, "Are you serious?" he asks surprised.

"Do I look like I'm lying?" I retort, does he really think I would lie about how far along I am? Yeah I'm making this up just to be make it up.

"No. Sorry for asking." he mumbles. I immediately feel bad for the way I'm acting but instead of saying sorry I can't stop my mind from racing back to Skyeler and the baby now. "What am I going to do? What about Skyeler? He's probably still mad at me. He probably hates me." "I doubt he hates you. Just relax. Send him a message saying you need to talk. More than likely he's gotten used to you and your mood swings."

"What's that suppose to me?" I question.

"Nothing. Just sometimes you're a little needy and overdramatic." Todd says.

"No I'm not."

"Are you really going to try and deny it? Brenden how long have have we been friends?" he looks at me raising his eyebrow.

"Too long." I answer pulling my phone out of my pocket.

"Exactly I know you better than you know yourself sometimes." he says as I start to type a message to send to Skyeler.

Please forgive me? I'm sorry about what I said. I really am Skyeler. Please message me back it's important. We need to talk.

I hit send, I couldn't tell him through a text message about the baby. That's not something I want to do or person not even able to come face to face and have a conversation. I just hope he messages back.