Alloyed Souls

The curiosity within a soul

Yesterday was nice, despite everything. I can't believe I'm heading to meet him again...

I went outside by my free time of the afternoon, where it's an interval which I don't meet up with any friend. This time, I left with just one of my drawing sketchbooks, my pencil case, my snacks and a few random items for emergencies, but nothing much like I usually do. This time, I did not want to just chill in Waterfall and wait for that stupid flower come up to me and tease me about anything I do, so I obviously I'm heading to New Home. I have a new plan this time, I don't want to directly speak with him, as I'm still a coward.
My heart sped up at the thought of me going to see him again, but I can't properly understand much. A hundred thoughts flew above my head as I approached more and more, taking the elevator in MTT to go directly to the castle.

The human was happy, despite everything. Soon he reached the door that precedes the Throne room, where Asgore was at, sitting on his ankles over the flower bed and talking to his flowers. For a moment, Jonathan observed him from the entrance, but when Asgore was about to turn around, Jonathan got out of his range of vision, sitting near the entrance but in a way Asgore wouldn't see him. Asgore let out a light chuckle, as he noticed the guy's presence. 

—Human, you don't need to hide from me, you know? Nobody is gonna know I wasn't "able" to fight you, if you run away like how you did yesterday! — I said, a lighthearted tone in my voice. It's been a long time since I've been happy for such small thing like this...and when I spoke, the human did not reply, but it's fine. I get up from the flower bed, stretching my back and trying to let the time pass by as I sit on my throne and talk alone with my flowers, in whispering, as I feel a little embarrassed, knowing the human is outside and can hear me venting my old man stuff and talking alone.

I take a peek inside the throne room, just my eyes, and hiding quickly. I shouldn't lie to myself, I actually like seeing him, even if not interacting at all. So, I keep trying to peek inside some times and hiding quickly, unconciously taking my sketchbook and starting to draw him, and it goes for about 40 minutes, when I finish making a few doodles of his face on the paper and I get caught staring at him, and he stares back.
The two of them look at each other for a moment, Jonathan gets completely red in embarrassment, as he's too shy, and looks away, but Asgore keeps looking at him, and smiles at the fact that he was still there — Would you wish to come inside and we can talk a little, human? You seem pretty interested on my presence. — Asgore says, giving him a patient smile. — Be not afraid, human. I'm just an old man full of responsibilities and weight of past mistakes crawling on my back. I don't actually want to take your soul...— Jonathan doesn't reply, still kind afraid, shy, embarrassed, and nervous. They run away again.

This whole thing follows for about a whole week, where Asgore tries to approach you, but you're overwhelmed with feelings and the whole situation being too intimidating for you. You've become a little too much excited at re-reading the books you've read when searching about Asgore's backstory and actions in the past, both good and bad actions, so it was even more exciting to keep this routine of seeing him without interacting. On a Saturday, you come again. This time, it was different, he was...too quiet. But paying further attention, you can hear him crying as he's sitting on the throne with his back curved downwards.

I get emotional as soon as I see him emotional. Instead of hiding, I run over to him and touch his back lightly with my hand. — S-sir? Y-Your m-majesty...? — I say nervously. He stops for a moment, a bit startled. — Human...you're here, and...you just approached me...? You...you're not afraid of me? — He says, a sad tone in his voice. I gently pat his back. — I-I am, but...after everything I've searched up and seen about you...I feel bad seeing you cry. And I...I want justice. — I say, nervously.

I turn back completely, looking at the human directly into their eyes. They avoid looking directly back, but it's fine. I smile, even if the tears are still falling down, and the urge is to hug the human, but I don't want to scare them or do anything without permission. — Thank you. — I say to the human. Suddenly, they hug me tight, as if it's been a long time since they last hugged someone with such empathy...and...they seem passionate about it. Way too much, to be honest. — It's been quite some time I've been hugged like this before...can I hug you back, human? — I say, a smile on my face.

Jonathan blushed at the request, but nodded. Asgore hugged them back, but not so tightly, afraid of hurting him, then Asgore let go of the hug.

You looked at Asgore, and your legs were trembling. You were still afraid, but, you just stood there, not leaving. — So...I guess, I-I guess this is where it ends. I...I should just give you my soul to you already, and end this suffer you and your people are going through. — you said, starting to tear up — I shouldn't have hidden for so long, for a whole month delaying your people's freedom, I was a coward and was too afraid to leave the friends I've made down here when they would me much happier if I helped to break the barrier, and, I'm so egoistical, and...—

The young man gets cut off by Asgore, who does a "shh" and places a hand on his shoulder. — I feel the same way about myself all the time, human. But you...your mistakes were probably nothing near mine. You deserve to be forgiven and you've done nothing wrong, you just followed your heart. Me, from the other side, can't. I don't want to reap any more lives, human. You might be the last soul left to break the barrier, but...it's not what I want. I never wanted to kill the 6 others, I've just declared a law when heated, and I didn't want to let my people get miserable all over again, but...maybe I could have done different, but there's no coming back now...not after everything I did. — Asgore says, a frown on his face. Jonathan stops crying, and just looks at Asgore. — If...if you don't want to hurt me, maybe...maybe we could chat for a little bit? We could...talk about our past, and eat for a little. Nobody besides myself ever comes into your castle anyway, so, nobody is gonna know we're talking instead of fighting. — Jonathan smiles, his face still a bit blushy from before, and also for being really close to Asgore.

I get happy after listening to such kind words, and I nod to the human, getting up from the ground. — I see! It'd be fun indeed to chat for a little bit, I'm quite lonely here. — I say, sitting with legs crossed. — And you don't need to call me your majesty, just call me Asgore! — I smile.

The two of them ended up chatting for about 2 hours, and got to understand each other well. Jonathan didn't talk about his past that much, at least not to the reason why he fell down, but more about his sadness and how life in the surface was hard for him, and how much he searched about Asgore before starting to observe him, trying to build up courage to talk. Asgore talked about why he was crying, being because of the weight of his actions and the flashbacks of his past hitting him really hard...and yes, Asgore asked the human's name, so when Jonathan left, Asgore didn't just call him human. 

"Today, I felt the pain all again, getting reminded of everything that happened and everything I did, but, when I was crying, the same kind human from before has came up to me, giving me support. My intuition was right, something good would happen after that first time he came here. 'Jonathan' is his name, as told to me. In a long time, I've been hugged with a huge wave of compassion, and it flatters me, as I don't think I deserve it. I feel like everything is changing to be better now" ~ Asgore 
I wrote down in my diary, before tucking into bed. When closing my eyes, almost didn't sleep by how much I was feeling bright after such a good day, but after a while, I was able to fall asleep.