A Gentleman's Guide to Hooking Up

r u l e # 3

Rule #3 Don't be judgmental, and acknowledge that women are sexual beings too

Let's face it: some women want sex just as much as men do. It's not fair to stigmatize those who follow their desires, because not everyone views sex as some magical rite of passage. Sex can be just sex, not an access control system.

Women are not gatekeepers to a treasure trove and men are not pirates trying to rob them of something sacred. There's no conquest and no giving up. We're partners who share a pleasant time together, so there's no need to feel triumphant or remorseful.

By the way...if we shame girls who are willing to have sex with us, then we'd just be cock blocking ourselves.

......

"Jess," Jake said in between hungry kisses, knowing that he had to get this out as early as possible. A few minutes later he'd be too far into the game to keep his head—the one up there—straight. "You can stop me anytime you want, okay? You don't need to feel obligated to go through with anything you're not comfortable with."

Jessica pulled back slightly as her lips curled into a smile. "How many times have you practiced saying that? You sound like a pamphlet on sexual health."

He reached for her chin, leaned in, and planted another kiss. "Or you can sign the contract I printed out for you...remember to check the box that says I agree to the terms and conditions." He smiled. "Kidding. I just want you to be sure. Don't worry about upsetting me in case you wanna back out."

"Jake. We've gone out four times and hinted about it every way we know how, we're at a hotel room, and I have on my best pair of underwear. I know we're not here to discuss homework."

He could see the reflection of the chandelier sparkling in her eyes as she lay down. They had met at the hotel she suggested—her dad owned the place, turned out—after repeated rescheduling. Jessica seemed to be a busy girl and was rather inflexible about her plans. She didn't appear to be playing hard-to-get but wasn't overly eager, either, and Jake hadn't the faintest idea about what went on in her life when she wasn't seeing him.

The only thing he managed to learn about her was her opinions on sex, which was what ultimately led them here.

"I don't have the best reputation at school," Jessica had said during one of their not-a-dates. They were sitting together on the park bench and were chatting about passers-by when the topic shifted.

Jake perked up. This was unusual, because Jessica could comment on anything as long as it didn't involve herself.

"Apparently I have no respect for myself because I like talking to boys," she said.

"They are jealous of you."

"It's not just because of that. I never shoot down people when they hit on me or turn down a dance, so I give the impression that I have no standards," she said. "I act like that because I know it takes courage to approach someone, and there's no reason to be mean or sassy about it. I just want to be nice."

"You were pretty sassy with me," Jake said, even though he hadn't minded one bit.

Jessica smiled and traced his face with her dark eyes. Dark eyes had this special hypnotic power to them, like they could silently suck him right in and absorb him. "Only with you, Jake. I know you can take it. You're obviously very confident. When I saw you I was thinking, gosh, look at those cheekbones. Those are model cheekbones. This guy has never heard a no in his life."

He laughed, liking the compliment. "That's what I thought of you, too."

"Being friendly doesn't mean I'm not choosy when it comes to sex," she went on, "but the girls at school call me Panda Express behind my back."