A Gentleman's Guide to Hooking Up

r u l e # 6

Rule #6 Keep it clean

Keep it clean on the bed by wrapping it up with a condom. Keep it clean out of bed by limiting messy emotional attachments to a minimum.

Here's a list of things you should avoid: questions about each other's whereabouts, questions about how many people they are seeing or sleeping with, their friends and family, events such as weddings and prom, intimate dinner dates, cooking at home, cuddling, sleeping over, sharing of overly-personal matter, or compliments including you're special and I want to learn more about you.

It's best to meet up at a luxury hotel room instead of your houses. It's classy, professional, and the bed sheets are always freshly changed. Do it quick and get out.

......

Ever since Jake had stupidly blurted out that he was attracted to Jessica, she had been atrociously avoiding him as if he had some form of STD—he didn't, by the way. Not-so-little Jake was healthy-looking, robust and functioning well, but it had sadly been out of work for a while.

Jake was a relationship virgin who had somehow managed to get himself dumped. He scrolled through his phone and looked at all the unanswered messages he sent her.

The first few ones were read but not replied to. The next few ones were unread. They accompanied him all the way from prom, to graduation, to summer vacation, leaving behind a lonely trail.

It was a hot and sexually frustrated July without her.

It wasn't too hard to get her address from Sean, who went there once for a party. However, showing up at someone's house unannounced bordered on stalker behavior, therefore Jake decided to show up unannounced at her hotel.

A hotel was a public facility after all. Anyone had the right to be there. He could stroll in innocently and ask if room 2046 was taken...or something. He didn't bother planning ahead, because whenever Jake thought of doing something, he just had to do it right away.

Turned out planning ahead was entirely unnecessary. Jessica Jiang was standing right behind the concierge counter in a dark blue blazer, a small golden badge pinned near her collar that said trainee. Her hair was pulled back into a bun—the professional kind, not the sexy, messy kind—and her jewel earrings shone demurely under the lobby chandelier, like giving him a secret wink.

There was no secret wink on her face, however. She greeted him in a perfectly clipped, information-desk tone. "Good afternoon. How may I help you?"

"Jess, what are you doing here?"

"How may I help you?"

"I thought your dad owned this place?"

As he was speaking, a door opened up behind the counter. A middle-aged man in a navy suit stepped out. He was solidly built, but it wasn't the only intimidating thing about him.

It was the way he carried himself. His stance. The way his gaze ran over Jake's face, giving him the impression that lying to him would be a bad idea.

"That I do," the man said. He had a voice of authority, like everything he said should be written down. "Are you a friend of Jessica's?"

This was Mr. Jiang. Her father.

"Hello, sir." Jake swallowed. "My name is Jake Lancaster. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Mr. Jiang had a firm handshake. Jake smiled his best smile as he withdrew his hand. He was in the middle of feeling like a thief caught red-handed, even though he wasn't entirely sure what he was guilty of, when Jessica interrupted.