Crazy Ways Already (a dumb ways to die fanfiction)

Prologue

Numskull gazed into the horizon. The sun was just climbing over a few tall buildings. It was bright and beautiful. It was probably the only thing that was. The rest of the world was just dark and cold. Smoky and wet, constantly being prowled upon by the black claws of Death.
Numskull held a pretty pink flower, as if it were his only treasure. He turned his gaze down at its sparkle and beauty. It reminded him of a time, not too long ago, when he had once known someone as pretty as that flower. But now, their beauty had died and withered away and was gone forever. A single tear trickled from Numskull's eye.
Numskull wandered through town, a shadow in the dark morning. He walked with the sun, which moved higher and higher into the petal-pink sky. It looked just like a painting. A colorful, perfect painting that seemingly had no flaws on the outside, but deep inside, there was a character in the painting that was suffering. That was Numskull.
Numskull was almost home when he saw a puff of grey smoke. He looked at it, puzzled. Another grey cloud came. And a few more, mixed in with a few giggles. They sounded like children's giggles. Numskull looked past the grey clouds at the kids. And there was Madcap, standing on a rock and holding a cigar. Loopy and Zany were watching him, smiles on both their faces. There was a smile on Madcap's face, too, as he put the cigar in his mouth and blew another grey smoke cloud.
"Madcap! Stop!" Numskull shrieked, slapping the cigar out of Madcap's hand.
Loopy and Zany shot a look at Numskull.
"Yo, man, what's your deal?" Madcap asked sassily, hopping off the rock and shoving Numskull.
"Ooooooh..." Loopy and Zany said.
Madcap smiled at them.
"Don't! Just... don't!" Numskull begged.
Tears filled his eyes as he held the flower tighter. Madcap frowned.
"Numskull? What's wrong?" he asked, trying to wipe away Numskull's tears.
Numskull blinked, letting a few more tears flow. Then, he looked at Madcap and heaved a sigh.
"You shan't smoke. It is very bad for you. I've almost lost a loved one to it." Numskull said.
"But Doomed said it was cool." Madcap said.
"Yeah! And it makes us all feel good!" Loopy added.
"Doomed? Doomed lies. He is a life ruiner." Numskull said.
The kids all looked at each other, confused.
"Just don't!" Numskull cried.
"You do not want to end up like Stupe! She fell into the same trap and..."
Tears stopped Numskull, and he broke into a sob. Madcap grasped Numskull's hands. Numskull looked at Madcap.
"Wait-- Stupe? You mean that nice monster-looking pilot who helped make Thanksgiving dinner last year?" Zany broke in.
"She wasn't always monstrous! She used to have beauty to go with her kindness!" Loopy said.
Numskull nodded.
"Yes. She was a very pretty girl, and had the most beautiful eyes. She was an excellent pilot and was always sweet as pie. But cruelty from the dark world kicked her down, and an even worse force took her by the hand and led her into her situation."