I am Chloe

Chapter Twenty

Hey all! 

Two more chapters left -excluding this one-, I don't want to end it! But alas, things always come to an end. 

And Eid's next Tuesday, Eid is the day after the end of Ramadan, I surely am gonna miss this month, I had so much fun and...slept pretty late (6 am max). 

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

*

I opened the apartment door, silently wishing David wasn't there. He wasn't. 

Someone was there, alright.

Someone was sitting on the living room couch.

Someone looked like a mess.

Someone turned around to look at me.

Someone I'd known my whole life, suddenly turned into a stranger.

My own father was unrecognizable, his eyes once lively blue eyes were now a dead, bloodshot red. His face had the saddest expression; he looked as if he had been crying his heart out. Seeing my father like this, I panicked; I didn't know what to do or how to act. I approached him as I slowly spoke, "Dad?"

He covered his face with both of his hands, while his arms were placed sharply on his knees. He started to speak, his voice was hoarse, as if he was choked. 

"Chloe..."

"Dad, I-I'm here," I assured him.

My father suddenly broke down, "I-I'm sorry, Chloe. I'm sorry." He wiped his face with both his hands, but it had no effect, new tears replaced old ones.

"I hate myself right now, I hate myself for everything. You don't deserve it, Chloe, you never did, I-I was so mad at your mother and my parents that I didn't think straight. Then there was the money, the money that kept me going. W-When you told me yesterday that you weren't a game I could throw away, it really hurt me, and I'm honestly glad it did. I lost twelve years of my life neglecting my own daughter, my only daughter because I was too afraid to face what was going on. I'm a coward, Chloe...I'm the biggest coward alive."

He ran a hand through his hair; what he usually does when he's nervous. 

"God, even twelve years later I'm still the same arrogant ass I've always been. I set up a deal with Holly, I lose you, she'll give me the money. I didn't know where you'd end up, I wanted you to get back to your mother...but she doesn't want to see you again. David was the person I trusted.

"I should've never trusted him, he wanted part of the money anyway. And I-I'm such an idiot for letting him go like that, I should've believed you...h-he did those horrible things to you and I accused you of-of lying...I'm a monster."

Dad wiped his tears trickling down his cheek, his shirt was practically wet. I quickly wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, my father was never an emotional man, seeing all those bottled up feelings being released at once was painful. He spoke from his heart, and I could tell it.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, I wouldn't if I were you...you weren't supposed to live this life, I'm pretty surprised at how much you've put up with everything. Sure I made a mistake thirteen years ago, but that's probably the best mistake I ever made... I may not know a lot about you Chloe, but you are my daughter and I am your father, there's always a place for you in my life." 

My father looked up and smiled at me, for the first time in my life, I didn't bother to wipe my tears away.

"I messed up. I messed up big time and I admit it, but I promise you that things will never be the same again. Even thought it might've never seemed like it but I-I love you, Chloe. I always have and I always will. You are my girl."

I hugged him, those three words hit the spot. I hugged my father so tightly, that I bet the force would've made up for all the hugs I've missed. No matter what, he was my father, and he would always be my father. Dad hugged me in return; he buried his face in my neck and ran his hand through my hair. "I love you, Chloe," I heard my father say.

"I love you too, Dad," I replied.

Three words could change everything. Three words so powerful, they could change hate into love. 

"I promise you, I will change." My father said as he held my face, he wiped my tear with his thumb, the way other parents did to their kids.

I nodded vigorously, "Dad...I know how mad you were at all of this, you never wanted to live a life like this, but you did and i-it was tough. I'm proud of that, Dad...others would've never even accepted to live this life, but you did."

Three other words I never expected to say came out of my mouth, and I'm glad I didn't stop them.

"What I'm trying to say is that I-I forgive you."

Dad looked up, those three words must've hit him in return. My father looked as if the weight of the world was thrown off his back after twelve years of regret and remorse. 

"C-Chloe.." Dad got up and hugged me for the second time.

"Dad?" I started to say, his glassy eyes looked at me, full of intent and...admiration.

"When will I see my mother?"

I knew she didn't want to see me, but I did. I wanted to see her, I wanted to see what she looked like, how we resembled each other. But I didn't forgive her, I probably never will.

"I'm sorry but she doesn't want to see you. She's a sick woman, Chloe," Dad replied.

"What if I saw her without her seeing me, not stalk her but catch a glimpse of her."

Dad chuckled, "Trust me, I wouldn't  if I were you. She'll give you nightmares."

"But I thought you said she was -sorry- is pretty?" i said.

Dad shrugged. "She is but I think you're the last one on earth to see her, it's better for you not knowing her, Chloe. I don't want her to hurt you, I mean, she's pretty heartless." 

I smiled at my father's attempt to change, it surely was an improvement.

But I desperately wanted to see my mother, again, I didn't even know her name. Well maybe I will one day. That day will come, and I know it.