Bullet

Chapter 19 - Burdens and Emptiness

Chapter 19
Burdens and Emptiness

A/N - A fun fact for all of you: I just found out that the model who I chose to portray Grayson, (Brandon Hill), is actually from my state, Pennsylvania! His favorite team is even my city's home team, the Philadelphia Eagles. I don't know, I just thought that was pretty cool considering he's gorgeous and all, haha :P Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the chapter! :)

For the rest of the week, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Mary had told me at over our coffee discussion. The shock from her sincere apology had worn off for the most part. It was refreshing to talk to someone who didn’t label Carter as some type of God who couldn’t do a single thing wrong. She knew who her son was and, despite his mistakes, loved him all the same. 

I felt like it was a lesson that I had to learn. Bumping into Mary had to be part of fate’s twisted path it was weaving for me, teaching me so many hard earned lessons. Every lesson I’d learned was part of some detailed and vigorous test, one that took me in tons of directions and made me really think of what I thought I knew. The truth was, I really didn’t know anything about anyone. 

You can spend your whole life believing that know someone and be completely surprised by them in the next second. People were made up of many different personalities, quirks and mischievous ways. They could change, grow and become a whole new version of themselves. Sometimes these versions weren’t for the better, but they allowed you to make your own decisions on who you chose to surround yourself with. 

Grayson had certainly changed. He was much more open to me and was talking to me for the first time in his life. I hadn’t really thought about how this change in him was affecting the person that he was. He admitted that he was in love with me for the first time in years. For so long, he kept this huge secret to himself and put his heart on the line for me. 

Frankly, it scared the hell out of me that he was always putting himself in danger, whether emotional or physical for me. 

But it took me a little while to realize this, that Grayson would do anything for me; as I would for him. I felt like I owed him a chance to explain himself. A part of this new realization was coming from a bit of a selfish side for me, though I hated to admit it. 

After school on Friday, I came home to my mother cooking up a storm. She was bent over the stove with sweat dripping down her forehead and her hair pulled into her signature messy bun. She was dressed in her work scrubs still, this time without any evidence of foul play against the blue fabric, which I was sort of grateful for. Whatever it was that she was cooking smelled great and I was finally up for eating something. 

“Hey, what’s the special occasion?” I asked, smiling gently at her when she looked up at me startled. 

She weighed her words for a moment, an anxious look on her face. “I was hoping dinner would be done by the time you made it home,” she stated, wiping her hands against a kitchen towel. “Your father and I had some things we’d like to discuss with you.”

I raised a brow at her. “What things?”

My dad chose this time to interrupt, coming up behind me and placing his hands on my shoulders in greeting. “Hey sweetheart, how was school?”

“Fine…” I trailed off suspiciously. “Why is everyone acting so weird?”

He walked past me and into the kitchen, probably giving my mother a look only she would understand. They were communicating with one another silently, leaving me in the dark and a little annoyed. 

“Maybe its best if we just wait for dinner. I’m making spaghetti and meatballs,” she forced a smile. 

“No, I want to know what you guys are hiding,” I stated forcefully, almost feeling like a six year old who was about to stomp her foot to get what she wanted.