Medication (boyxboy)

VI

Daniel woke up 45 minutes early, which displeased him greatly. It wasn't enough time to go back to sleep, but it was too much time to just lay there and let his thoughts take over.

He did make an effort to go back to sleep, but that failed. It seemed as though it had only been five minutes before they he and Rick were being woken up.

Down at breakfast, Daniel was far more tired than usual, and CJ noticed.

"Didn't sleep well last night?" he asked.

"I slept fine but I woke up way too early and couldn't get back to sleep," he complained.

"Oh, yeah. That's happened to me tons. Sorry man," CJ sympathized.

Daniel shrugged it off, moving on. "Do you have any summer plans?" he asked, hoping to maybe meet up with him when they were out of here.

"Warped Tour," CJ smiled widely.

"Yeah, same. I'm going with my friend Jack, we go to every California show every year," Daniel beamed.

"Then I hope you get out soon, the Cali dates are up first."

"Yeah, I know. It would suck if I had to miss out."

"Here's to hoping you don't, then," CJ laughed.

"What's Warped?" Phoenix asked, silent for the first part of the conversion for once.

"Summer music fest," CJ answered him. "Rumor has it Good Charlotte is going this year."

"Really? Dude, that's awesome!" Daniel exclaimed. They weren't his favorite band of all time, but they were up there and they put on a damn good show.

"I saw them a couple of years back," Phoenix chimed in again. "One of them fell off the stage."

"Oh, wow really?" CJ laughed.

"Yeah, he was up front and trying to look cool but he tripped. I think he nearly broke his guitar, they had to get him a new one. He wasn't hurt though."

CJ shook his head, still laughing. Daniel just sat quietly, appreciating CJ and his very nice smile.

The conversation carried on, changing subjects every so often before breakfast was over and the patients were evacuated from the cafeteria.

Daniel was left alone with his thoughts, where he realized he had a crush on CJ. It dawned upon him that he liked him far too much for it to be platonic. Just a friend wouldn't notice and completely love his smile that could end a war, or the way his eyes lit up when he got excited, or the way he looked down and played with the hem of his shirt when he was uncomfortable or nervous. The realization hit Daniel hard and fast, and he was mostly okay with it. He wasn't going to close himself off from his emotions anymore. He only got hurt that way, and he was done with that.

He allowed himself to think about CJ more and how he was dealing with this sudden realization. He didn't want to like anybody, because that just got him hurt. And as much as he didn't want to, he also really did want to shut off his feelings and pretend they weren't there. That would be easier. So much easier. He'd stay safe and sound, as well.

At the same time, he really wanted something with CJ. He wanted a relationship, he just was so terrified of getting hurt he wasn't really letting himself admit it.

After a while of arguing with himself over how to deal with this, he just gave up and decided to think about CJ and simply appreciate his existence. Daniel thought about how mesmerizing his eyes were, and how contagious his laugh was. He thought about how his lip piercing probably felt really nice against his own lips, and about how funny he was. Daniel knew he fell fast and hard, but it didn't matter. None of it did. Besides, it wasn't like Daniel loved him. He simply had a crush on him that wasn't the most lighthearted. He would get over it, and everything would be okay again as long as Daniel didn't act on the crush, which should have been simple enough.