twisted » á. morata & p. dybala

quince // guilty pleasure

The cold air certainly had no mercy on us. If they said that Turin's definition of cold is England's definition of summer, than England would be my biggest nightmare.

Even though I was donning a sweater with jeans, a pair of boots, and a jacket, I could still feel the wind piercing my skin. I had no idea why Paulo insisted that we went out at 11pm.

"Where are you taking me?" I whispered loudly as he dragged me through the street. There was nobody there, and it was so quiet but peaceful, not eery.

"You'll see, right here," then he turned into an alleyway with a dead end, making me think about nothing but bad things.

"Paulo, what are we doing here? This isn't funny," I stopped and held his hand tighter, almost pulling him back towards where we came from.

"We'll be fine, trust me. Now you have to climb," he motioned for me to get on the metal ladder to the side of the building that we were standing next to, and I wanted to kill Paulo right there and then.

"You're not serious, are you?" I glared at him, but he only shrugged, and I was debating whether or not I should slap him to wake him up. "You do know it's illegal, right?"

"Just trust me and climb. I'll be right behind you," we stared for each other for a long time, him with his innocent eyes and me with my knife-sharp glare until I finally gave up and reached the railings for me to hold on to while I climbed.

Just like he said he would be, Paulo was right behind me. His head was only two metal bars away from my feet. I kept climbing and climbing without complaining or asking any questions, because I knew that if I did either of those things, the outcome would've been nothing.

When I reached the top of the stairs, which was also the rooftop of a building, I pulled myself up. I noticed that there was a picnic basket with some foods and a bottle of wine on top of a picnic blanket. The rooftop itself was very pretty, decorated with a lot of little christmas lights.

"So, do you like it?" Paulo had already come up next to me when I finished admiring the scene before my eyes.

"Did you do all this?" I pointed my finger towards the whole rooftop.

"Yeah, I set all of this up right before I picked you up earlier," Paulo himself was admiring his work until he motioned for us to sit on the blanket. "Come on, the food's cold already."

I nodded and followed him to rest my legs and sit on the blanket. "You really didn't have to do all this. We could've just stayed home and watch a movie and I'd still be very happy," I watched as he prepared our food, which was pizza—I assumed because pizza was convenient.

"But I want to do this for you," he said that nonchalantly, as if I was supposed to know that already. That's one more thing to add to the growing list of things that made me feel guilty about our relationship, especially after my betrayal that involved his bestfriend.

"Thank you," I muttered, mostly because of guilt and not gratefulness, which could have counted as another thing to add to the aforementioned list.

"Don't worry about it. Here," he handed me a slice of pizza, which my hand carelessly took and put into my mouth while my mind was clearly not there at all.

I knew I had to tell Paulo about what had happened with Álvaro, but I just couldn't. Every time I said I could, I just kept chickening out at the end. I was probably one of the greatest sinners of all time by then, but I really didn't have any choice when my heart kept preventing me to do what I must have.

"-and I told him it will be fine, but he didn't seem to listen," my head snapped towards Paulo, and I didn't even realise that he was talking. "And now it's your turn to not listen to me," the smile that was previously on his face instantly dropped, making me feel even guiltier.

"What? Oh God, I'm so sorry," I stared at him wide-eyed, then stared at the slice of pizza that was still in my right hand, then back at him. Dios, I must have looked like a complete idiot then. "It's just that... this is clearly illegal, and if we get caught-"

"Isabella-"

"We'll get arrested, and we'll go to jail, and we'll be all over the news, and-"

"I know you're thinking about Álvaro," his words made me stop dead in the middle of my sentence and locked me in place, not moving a single muscle. "You're not thinking about getting arrested at all. It's pretty clear to me that you two have feelings for each other, even though you don't want to acknowledge it," he put his pizza slice down on one of the paper plates and didn't dare to look at me in the eyes.

"What...? Wha- What are you talking about?" I stammered, which was not entirely made up, but mostly because I was still shocked that he figured it out really easily.

"Don't worry, I'm not mad at all. I have to admit, I'm kind of disappointed, but I knew all along. I was prepared for this outcome," he looked up to meet my eyes and his expression indicated calmness, while mine indicated the exact opposite.

"Paulo, I'm so sorry, but I don't have any feelings for Álvaro. You know how much he bothers me and how much we hate each other, right?" I was clearly panicking, but I was still in denial. No, I was lying, not in denial anymore.

He laughed. He had the audacity to laugh. I couldn't believe it. "You two don't hate each other. Maybe in the beginning, but not anymore. Like I said, I'm not mad at all, so you don't have to worry about anything," his face stayed calm and unnerved, while mine felt like it was going to explode any moment.

"I- I don't know what to say," I let my pizza drop to the blanket and slumped my back.

"Valerie and I have been discussing this for the past month, but I guess I didn't have the heart to let you go just yet. But tonight, it's very clear that your head isn't even here. Val and I could see it through the way you two sneak glances at each other when you think no one's looking, by the way you grow to have less affection towards me everyday. Álvaro hasn't been concentrating during training lately, and that's very unlike him. But then I see you zoning out, and it's the exact same way that Álvaro had been doing," he explained, and I was just left there with my lips parted and my eyes wide.

"Val? What does she have to do with this?" The thought that my sister had possibly been feeding 'false' information to Paulo infuriated me.

"She wasn't the one who started it, I was. Anyway, we can't do this anymore," he then stated, leaving me even more speechless than I was before, if that's even possible.

"What do you mean?"

"We can't keep going out like this. Or at all. Go be with Álvaro. You two deserve each other, I mean it," he said with a genuine smile on his face that comforted me like no other.

Was he seriously breaking up with me?

Was he seriously letting me go just like that?

"I don't know what to say," I said very slowly, still speechless from Paulo's words.

"Then don't say anything. Just think and figure out what you're going to say to Álvi. I'll even help if you would like me to," he picked his pizza up again and started eating.

"Paulo, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything," I really didn't know what to say or how to repay his kindness, but people say that when someone is kind by his heart, he won't even think of getting something in return.

"Don't be. To be honest, I enjoyed every second I've spent with you, and I don't regret being with you at all. Besides, you're not the only one who should be sorry. But that's beside the point. Now eat your pizza and figure out what to do with Álvaro," he pointed at the slice of pizza on the blanket that I dropped earlier.

He made me think really hard to myself. What do I say to Álvaro?

Am I supposed to say anything at all?