Something's Gotta Give

Chapter 14

Three-thirty came and went with no sign of Sam. It was after six when Penny decided that she would have to make her own way home.  There must have been some major emergency for Sam to have forgotten about her and she hoped that everything was alright.

She was heading down the hallway when she heard her name called and she turned around to see Kate walking towards her.  "What are you still doing here?"

"Sam must have had an emergency." Penny smiled. "I was just giving up and heading home."

"I was headed home to change for work, can I give you a lift?"

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Penny looked at the clock she didn't want to make her late.

"I've got plenty of time," Kate said, linking her arm though Penny's as she said goodbye to a few of the staff that they passed. "I think it's odd that Sam didn't arrange a ride home for you. That's not really like him."

"If there was an emergency I doubt he had time." Penny gave a strained smile.  She had thought it was odd too but she had brushed the thought aside. Now, with Kate saying the same thing, it was a little harder to do.

"He came by Colt's room after lunch and I asked him if he knew about the change in the plans and he said that he did," Kate said, causing Penny to wither a little inside. He must have truly forgotten about her.  There could be no other explanation, he wouldn't have just left her there.

The ride to Sam's house took Kate a little out of her way but she said it was worth it just to see the house.  Penny offered to take her inside but she said she didn't have the time and waved to Penny as she turned the knob and opened the back door.  Penny stood in the open doorway and waved back as she watched her drive away.

When she closed the backdoor and turned around it was to see Sam leaning against the counter watching her with a vacant look as he waited for the coffee to percolate. Penny was so stunned by both the bland look and the fact that he was home that she was speechless. All she could do was return his stare as he looked over her appearance with a lazy glance before eventually turning away.

"I'm glad to see you made it home safely. Will you bring me a tray when the coffee's ready?" he requested, then he left her standing with one hand still on the door and her purse still in the other.

Slowly, Penny sunk to the bench seat at the table setting her purse down with a shaky hand. What had just happened? He hadn't seemed angry or confused. Maybe she had misunderstood something. She played the whole afternoon back in her mind and could find nothing that she could have interpreted wrong.

He hadn't forgotten about her because if he had he would have at least apologized upon her arrival. The only thing she could think of was that he was sorry that he had proposed to her, and that he was doing his best to back out of it without making it a big deal, but even that was unlike Sam.

She knew he could be cruel when he was angered or hurt, she had experienced it firsthand, but she couldn't think of what she could have done to anger him. With shaking hands she rose and moved towards the silent coffee pot and started to put a tray together.

She would ask, it was that simple. She took a deep breath and tried to steady her shaking hands as she methodically put the coffee on the tray along with some cookies. When it was ready she picked it up and took it up to his office.

His door was closed so she had to knock and wait for him to tell her to enter. Sam didn't look at her as he continued to type away on his computer.

"Sam?"

"Yes, Penny?" He was so distant that she was unsure of how to proceed. She had a sudden flashback to similar situations with her father and could feel herself shutting down.

"Is something wrong?" she asked softly, forcing herself to continue.

"No, why would you think something is wrong?" He leaned back in his chair his eyebrow raised in such a way that she wanted to slap it off his face. She had to bite back a hysterical laugh at the thought.

"You seem upset, if it's about what happened earlier in the truck-,"

"Why would it be about that?" he asked, watching her as she blushed at the memory.

"I just thought that maybe you were having second thoughts and if that was the case I didn't want you to feel that you couldn't back out of it, if you wanted to." The sentence came out in a jumbled rush in her anxiousness.

Please, oh please, don't let him have changed his mind she begged silently.

"Perhaps it is something that both of us should consider carefully before rushing towards a decision." He gave a polite smile.

What did he mean, was that his way of taking it back without really taking it back, or was he trying to give her an out if she wanted it? She watched him, clueless as to what he was really thinking.

After a few more moments she nodded, "Goodnight Dr. Evers," she said as she turned away.  When he didn't correct her she had her answer.  If he had still been interested he would have insisted that she call him Sam.

"Goodnight Penny," Sam said as he leaned towards his computer.

She closed the door behind her biting back tears. As she reached the bottom of the stairs Celeste appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh good, I'm glad you made it home safe and sound.  I told Sam you would." She smiled sweetly at Penny before she linked her arm through hers and walked with her down that hallway and towards the kitchen.

"I have been talking to Sam this evening, and we have decided to give a party for all of our old friends, to let them know we are back together again.  I thought that you could help me plan it."

Penny nodded as she felt a sharp pain in her chest. Something serious must have happened between them that afternoon for Sam to have changed his mind like he had. He had sworn that he was over Celeste, but here she was living in his house and planning a party to announce their reunion. He must not have been over her like he thought he was.

"Sure," Penny said, digging deep for her serene look that she had lost over the last few weeks. It was hard to do but she managed as she nodded and listened to Celeste talk.

Eventually she was able to break away and move to the privacy of her own room. She scooped up Sentry and cuddled her close as she sat heavily on the edge of the bed. Looking up she caught her reflection in the mirror. She was no Celeste that was for sure.

She watched as the silent tears streamed down her face, not really seeing herself.

She had been so close to having it all. Penny let herself imagine, one last time, what it would have been like to be married to Sam and have lots of happy children running around the house, she had even had the image of Sentry and a dog before she shut off her imagination.

It wouldn't do. She would have to keep working for Sam until she finished school. She needed the free place to live and the money.  She wasn't going to shoot herself in the foot because her heart hurt. She had grown up living with humiliation and unhappiness, she could get through a few more months of it until she graduated.

Nodding at her image she wiped away her tears.  She would treat Dr. Evers just as she always had, and she would pretend that the last few weeks hadn't happened and that she hadn't come so close to having it all.