Chapter 41: Nothing but the Truth

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Please, don't let this be it.

My heart is dashing so fast I can hear it beat in my ears. The backyard is empty. I stop in the middle and turn slowly, where is he? Where did he go?

My mind swims alive with thoughts, so many I can't grasp any. They're talking in the garage, but I'm not listening. They're not talking to me, and I'm not listening.

A flash of yellow disappears behind the garage when I turn around. My heart plummets again as I force myself to chase him down.

Please...

Reese has his back to me. His elbows jab outward in a way that tells me his arms are crossed. I gulp, slowing down.

"Re-Reese?" My voice trembles – how has this whole thing toppled onto its head? I lick my lips, "Reese, please, let me explain."

"I knew it, you like him." There's hurt in his voice. It breaks me. We wouldn't be in this mess if I had just told him everything to start – but there's no going back to then.

"I don't," I say as I continue to walk closer. "I swear. It's not like that."

"I saw you," he says in a really low voice.

I get the feeling he doesn't mean just now when Malcolm tried to kiss me. He means with Donny, too. More breaking.

I nod. "I know," I say and quickly add, "now. But I didn't know it when I avoided you, I didn't even know you knew, or else I would have talked to you sooner. I was just scared you'd hate me and..." I sigh, "And I really don't want that."

Reese doesn't respond.

"I'm sorry you saw that – at your party, I mean." I shake my head, "I wish you hadn't. I, um, the thing is..." I want to tell him why it happened but... How do you explain to the boy you like that you only pretended to like him at first? That he was part of a plan to become popular? That, like everyone else, you only saw him as the bad boy?

I look down at the ground, my heart sinking – I have to tell him, I realize. It's the only way to make it all make sense. So he knows that what happened meant nothing. Just a mistake I wish more than anything I could unmake.

When I look up, Reese has turned to look at me. My heart flips; his face is sullen, and I can tell that he's really hurt. Oh gods... this is going to hurt him even more.

Please, Reese, don't hate me.

Tugging at the bottom of my skirt, I close the few feet between us and grab his hand. He doesn't pull away but his hand is limp. I sigh and think about how easy high school romance ought to be. But this has been some sort of drama plot from the start and it's not fair. Part of me wants to blame Toria, but I know I'm not without blame in this.

"Reese," I say slowly, wishing I could prolong this moment. The moment before he really does hate me. "What happened at your party happened because... um—"

"You were drunk." I look up, frowning slightly. "That's why Malcolm said you did it," he says with a shrug.

"Oh. I mean, yeah, but that's not—wait." I shake my head, frowning deeper. "Malcolm said that?"

Reese nods.

"When?"

"When we saw you."

"We?"

He nods again. When I don't respond, he clarifies: "When we both saw you with that jerk"—my stomach flutters at his apparent jealousy—"he said you were with him because you were drunk."

Wait. My mind whirls. I let go of his hand and step back, my vision becoming narrow and black at the edges. Just... wait. "You both saw me that night?"

"Yeah," he says.

I'm shaking my head because my mind is getting to something, to a realization that is too confusing. That is too weird. That—

My eyes widen as it clicks—

That makes complete sense. It all makes sense now.

Malcolm knew this entire time that Reese knew. He knew I was avoiding Reese because I didn't know how to tell him about what happened with Donny. He knew I was grappling with the guilt, and he said nothing. Not once.

That's why he was there, I realize as anger gnaws at my gut. Every time I tried to tell Reese what happened, that's why Malcolm always randomly appeared – he was stopping me. He let me wallow in this stupid guilt for days because... because why? Because he supposedly liked me and didn't want me to get with his brother?

That's exactly why. It has to be. It explains why he asked me whether Reese and I were over now, and why he started being extra-friendly. He was hoping to—

"Marney?"

I look up at Reese, a glare still twisting my features.

"To come between us," I mumble aloud.

"Huh?"

"Malcolm..." I trail off, staring up into those greenish grey eyes.

I could tell him, I could, but as angry as I am, that's his brother. Telling him would only hurt him, and I've done enough of that for one day.

I take his hand again and go for broke. "I like you Reese. I made a mistake kissing Donny, I was drunk and it was foolish. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I wasn't hurt," he says rather defensively. I can tell he's doing a 'me so tough' act, so I don't bother responding.

"And as for what just happened with Malcolm..." I squint for a second, trying to determine how to spin it, and decide on a partial-truth. "He tried to kiss me."

Reese's expression grows dark and I can tell he's contemplating if it's possible to punch someone hard enough that their head flies off.

"But that's only because he didn't know I still like you and want to be your girlfriend because I've been avoiding you. He was just as confused as you. What happened was totally innocent on his part," I say as the anger increases in my gut. I force it down and try my hardest to seem sincere.

Reese doesn't respond at first. The dark has drained from his expression only to be replaced with his classic deadpan. His eyes search mine, and I'm worried he's not buying any of it. Then the corner of his lips perk up, and he arches a brow.

"So," he says in a teasing tone, "you want to be my girlfriend, huh?"

Heat rises to my cheeks as I realize I word-vomited that at him. Nibbling my bottom lip to keep myself from more word vomit, I look down and nod, 'yes.'

He hooks his fingers under my chin and brings my gaze to his. Little flutters fill my stomach as I stare up at him. Then, slowly, he lowers his face to mine and kisses me.

My heart sighs. My knees actually weaken, wobbling slightly as his lips slide against mine. I can feel him smile while he slips an arm around my waist. He pulls me against him, moving his hand to cup my cheek.

Just as I grip his sides, he leans his head back. I open my eyes to see him staring down at me. The heat returns to my cheeks.

"Marney," he says in a soft voice.

"Yeah?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

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