Life's On Balance [Supernatural] {2}

2.1 Everybody Loves a Clown

The fire rose high into the night's sky as we stood in the woods, watching Dad's body on the pyre burn. I stood between Sam and Dean. I didn't looked at my brothers. I couldn't. I felt guilty after I realized that Dad sold his soul for me.

He saved my life.

I heard, that normally, 10 years is a given for a deal, Dad didn't even have an hour. He took that deal for me. And I didn't even knew that before. I didn't tell my brothers or anyone about that, I couldn't say that.

"Before he . . . before, did he say anything to you? About anything?" Sam asked, breaking the silence. His voice was small and filled with emotion. "No. Nothing," Dean said, not looking at him. I just continued to stare at the fire, not saying a word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~One Week Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After everything that was happening, we decided to stay for a little while at Bobby's house. I sat down at the couch, sighing and then looked up when I heard footsteps walking down the stairs.

Sam looked at me and gave a small smile, "Hey, you want to come with me to check up on Dean?" He asked. I shook my head, "No, thanks. Butter let him work on the Impala alone," I pointed out.

He looked at me for a moment before giving a small nod and walked outside. I sighed again and looked away. For a week I wasn't talking much with my brothers or Bobby. I just felt like I wanted to be alone but part of me didn't.

Sam and Bobby keep trying to talk to me more then just a few words, they know I was mourning just like any of them but I tried my best to show that I was okay. Dean, on the other hand, didn't spoke to me since I got out of the hospital and I didn't blame him. He probably realized that Dad sacrificed his life for me and he was angry or he was just mourning in his own way.

I took a deep breath and stood up from the couch. I walked outside to the junkyard where Sam and Dean were. I saw them arguing and standing close to the Impala. "Say something, all right? Hell, say anything! Aren't you angry? Don't you want revenge? But all you do is sit out here all day long buried underneath this damn car," Sam said.

"Revenge, huh?" Dean asked. "Yeah," Sam said. "Sounds good," Dean said. "You got any leads on where the demon is? Making heads or tails of any of Dad's research? Because I sure ain't. But you know, if we do finally find it -- oh. No, wait, like you said. The Colt's gone. But I'm sure you've figured out another way to kill it. We've got nothing, Sam. Nothing, okay? So you know the only thing I can do? Is I can work on the car."

With that he crouched by the car, getting back to work. "Well, we've got something, all right?" Sam said as I walked over and I stood beside him, "Hey," I said, making both my brothers to look at me.

Sam gave me a small smile but Dean just glanced up at me and then looked back at the car as Sam pulled out a cell phone. "It's what I came by here to tell you. This is one of dad's old phones. Took me a while, but I cracked his voicemail code. Listen to this," Sam said. Dean stand up as Sam put the phone on speaker. 

"John, it's Ellen. Again. Look, don't be stubborn, you know I can help you. Call me."

I frowned. "That message is four months old," Sam said. "Dad saved that chick's message for four months?" Dean asked. "Yeah," Sam replied. "Well, who's Ellen? Any mention of her in Dad's journal?" I asked, crossing my arms. "No. But I ran a trace on her phone number and I got an address," Sam replied. Dean gave a small nod, "Ask Bobby if we can use one of his cars."