The B-Side

Chapter 10: Married

PRESS PLAY.

Life stage. I know one of these days you'd have to get out of the cage you've encased yourself in (with me) and talk to Marc. You can't escape him forever. You had a life that once had him in it. Your world revolved around him for six years, Leia. You have common friends with him, and you have a gang. You had a life with him even though he didn't seem to have appreciated you as much as we both have liked.

I wouldn't say I was thankful that he didn't give you what you deserve because I wouldn't be in your life it he had, because he had hurt you.

And even though you think you're a hundred galaxies away from that life, there's no escaping the past.

I know you think you've already moved on, but Leia-I can still feel that you're angry. That you're still hurting. And I want you to get rid of that anger. I want you to throw every bit of pain he gave you, every bit of anger you've had for him, and every bit of self-depreciating words that you told yourself during the span that you loved him back at him. This could be very tiring, but trust me-aside from being cathartic, it's part of moving on.

Not everyone gets this chance, Leia. Not everyone gets a second chance to have a go at their object of pain, anger, and non-moving on.

Not everyone gets the chance to make someone a better person.

Take this chance, Leia. Grab it.

I'll be here. I'll wait for you.

I was about to turn off the tape recorder when Neil's voice came back on.

P.S. Show him stars, babe.

I grinned, shaking my head.

Stars.

I remember last night while he was 'discovering' me, he saw the tattoo that I had inked on me in between hating Marc and meeting Neil-three stars with sizes in decreasing order, dotting the right side of my abdomen, in equal distances from my right breast leading to my navel.

"Is this some sort of constellation or something?" he asked, whispering against my skin as he kissed them one by one. I shivered, saying, "Nope. Just some random thing. I like stars."

Neil looked up at me, his eyes twinkling. "I like them," he said, before proceeding, a weird smile on his face.

And then just this morning, while watching me prepare for the trip, he quipped, "Those stars make you look even sexier." His eyes were fixated on those three stars. I rolled my eyes, still not forgiving him for making me go on this trip. I was there, in an internal conflict, and he goes on to tell me while I am putting on my underwear that the stars make me look sexier.

Only Neil could do that.

So what does he mean by that-showing Marc the stars?

Or did he mean literally-like make Marc see stars by physically clobbering him?

That somehow sounds like a very good idea. *evil grin*

--

The flight to Batanes was a bit unsettling for more than one reason. One was because even though he and I hadn't checked in together, Marc ended up sitting next to me. Trust me, I already asked Andy and Nate if we had pre-selected seats for this flight, but they said we didn't because it has additional costs if we chose seats beforehand.

"Sorry," Marc said the minute we were settled in our seats. I took out the next book I am supposed to review and didn't say anything back. I wasn't sure what he was saying sorry for-for being seated next to me or for everything in general-but I didn't ask anymore. I opened to the book's page 112, where I stopped last night, but it appeared Marc was actually not going to accept silent treatment.