Avengers X-Reader Volume 1

You're Just Like Your Father Pt 2

Two weeks had passed, and I felt inadequate and hopeless. I hadn't found an apartment, nor had I explained to either of my children why we were staying with Uncle Steve. Wyatt didn't ask, but Steve did try to tell Ty, only able to get out a small white lie that Tony was on a mission to find bad guys. She was the one that continuously asked for her father, especially at night. She would scream for him, then cry herself to sleep in Steve's arms. She refused to let me comfort her, only wanting her father, something that I couldn't give her. On those nights Steve had tried calling Tony, only to get his voicemail, so he stopped calling all together.

Then of course Nat told me a few days after I had left the tower, that Steve went over there and punched Tony in the face. It took her and Bucky to pull him off, but apparently Tony took the beating as if he deserved it.

I wished that had made me feel better, but I just didn't care, I was too tired and defeated to care. So many times I wanted to pick up my phone, just to hear his voice...., but I never got any farther than pulling up his picture. There was nothing to say. I loved him, would always love him, but in these past two weeks he hadn't come by to see the kids, or even called to ask how they were doing, and neither Natasha or Steve would comment on it. Although, I'm sure they were both filling him in with info, but I just wanted to hear his voice.
I desperately tried to keep myself busy, with the kids, with apartment hunting.. anything, but on most days, even writing didn't help. I had lost the motivation to do anything, but try to keep our babies happy.
I wasn't sleeping, too worried that Ty would have another nightmare, wondering if he missed us, or asking myself why I just couldn't plow forward, at least for Wyatt's sake. My son, our son, noticed the dark circles under my eyes when I forgot to cover them up with makeup. He noticed my long silences and stares when he came home from school, as I tried to help him with his homework, he was so smart, just like his father.

'Tony.....'
'I never thought I'd end up marrying one of my one night stands.'
'You've never understood what I've been trying to do here!'
'You just killed me, you killed us..'

"Mommy?" Wyatt asked, startling me, and sliding in next to me on the window seat.
I cleared my throat and quickly wiped my eyes, "it's late baby, you should be in bed, it's a school night." I whispered, keeping my voice low, as not to disturb Steve, who was asleep on the couch.
"Mommy?" He paused, brushing aside his unruly dark brown hair. He looked so much like his father when he did that, he looked so much like Tony in general. "We're not going back home, are we?"
I looked away from my son's sad eyes, concentrating on the light snow fall that sprinkled over the window. "I don't know baby."
"I wish Uncle Steve was my dad, why can't Uncle Steve be my dad?" Wyatt blurted out, clenching his little fists.

My stomach tingled with helplessness, how do you explain something like this to your child? How do you tell them that you've lost hope, how do you tell them that everything was going to be alright, when nothing inside of you felt alright?

"Honey, your father loves you. We both just...we need some time, your father needs some time.." I stuttered, biting my bottom lip to keep from crying. "You're too young to understand this now baby, but the love your dad and I have for each other, is very different than the way I love your Uncle Steve. The love I have for your dad gave me you and your sister, love like that can move mountains baby, it can bring us sunshine on the most cloudiest of days." I paused, grabbing my son's fist, and slowly unclenching his hand. He looked confused, as he searched my eyes for more. I sighed not even knowing where I was going with this, "uh,.okay, you know that little girl you sit with in class, the one you play with at recess? Catarina? She's your best friend right?" I asked, watching my son shake his head yes. "That's what your Uncle Steve is for me, he's my best friend, like Catarina is for you. I don't love Unlce Steve like I love your father baby, and you need that kind of love to get married, and have children."