Queen of the Beasts✅

33

My hands splayed around my stretching skin. This was now the fifth month of me being with child. I did it understand how women could love to be with child.

I had heard stories of women becoming with child soon after they had given birth. And it did not stop! Women with countless amount of children...maybe it was because of love? Or maybe because they wanted to impress their husbands with how many males they could produce? And not 'useless girls.'

I could not rid of the child. I have thought about it time and time again but every time I think of such things my hands wind up straddling my stomach. Trying to protect myself from...myself. I would have this child...I did not have it in me to do such a thing. It was not the child's fault...it was Sirus and my body's acceptance to him.

Me ridding of a child when so many women long for one...it just did not seem right. Or that is what my mind kept on telling me.

What would this....child be? A boy? A girl? The name Thorian was...definitely growing on me. It actually did not sound bad...for a males name. I knew if I were to have a boy...it would break my heart.

I would not want him to turn out like Sirus. The chance of 'my child' doing what his father had done to me to another women made my stomach upset...

Then again I had no idea how Sirus was raised. My father always said if someone was evil they were taught that way...and maybe Sirus's parents taught him to be...the way he is. Horrid parenting mixed with being an animal was what Sirus was no doubt the result of.

Chelsea was kind and she was a beast. So was Rowan...but Fiona was horrid too.

If I had a male I would try my hardest to...instill in him my values. Human values of kindness and acceptance. But would Sirus just undo all of that?

I suddenly began to feel fatigue. I despised being alone...my thoughts crippled me often....

Slowly I managed to get up from my bath and dry off. After putting on a simple dress I made my way down to the dining area.

There Chelsea stood. Pacing the length of the dining room. "There you are, we have to go. The poor girl is sweating an shaking up a storm!" Chelsea exclaimed as I eyed the fruit on the table. My stomach rumbled loudly, but I ignored it.

"The carriage is just outside," she warned me as she took my hand and we made our way outside. We were getting many side glances. Maybe due to the fact that we were not supposed to go anywhere while Sirus was gone..but this was an urgent matter.

"You are getting so big," Chelsea commented as I frowned at her, watching a look of horror cross her features. "I did not mean it in that way," she said quickly.

I laughed, "I know Chelsea. The comments on my weight annoy me but prayerfully I will cease to have the weight once the child is born," I hoped. My clothes did not fit me anymore, and I was deathly hungry all of the time.

"Have you two thought of any names?"

I let lose a small laugh, "Sirus has this ridiculous name, Thorian for a boy...but if it is a girl I would like her to be named Elizabeth."

Chelsea took a deep breath. "That would be nice...to name the child Thorian," she confessed as I noted the sad look in her eyes.

"Tell me why you look upset." It was a question but it came out as more of a command. Both and I her were startled with the force I had used in my statement. "Sorry," I said quickly.