Little Shy Ariel (ft. Harry Styles)

Chapter 33 - Record Deal

Chapter 33 - Record Deal

I spend all day with Niall and that fact that Harry doesn’t come for me is just confirmation of what I already know. Niall and I comfort each other in a way I guess only us can. I feel like he’s the only friend I have now. He tells me about Ella, about his life and makes me laugh, even when I feel so broken inside.

“You’re a good girl, Ari. I should introduce you to Liam. He needs a good girl now,” he says concerned and I frown. I remember Harry… I remember Harry mentioning how much Liam had changed and how worried they were.

“I think I’ve had enough of One Direction,” I laugh humourlessly. “But don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll find someone who’ll help him to find himself again. People get lost sometimes, there are too many distractions on the way. But we find our way back to the path. Have faith,” I tell him and Niall smiles.

“True that,” he agrees and we smile at each other.

Niall does help me to feel better. At the same time he also makes me feel miserable. He tells me a lot about Ella, of their moments together. Of their brief history together and I just love their love, but I also feel jealous because Harry doesn’t love me like that… but I do. At least I think I do.

Now I understand all those girls behind a computer screen. I really do. Loving a boy that is nice to you but who’ll never love you back. I know how it hurts and maybe for me it’s worse because I experienced his kindness first hand. His smiles only for me. His hugs. His hand entwined with mine. I experienced all those things and it makes it one of the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced.

When I hear Niall speaking about Ella I want to go after her and tell her how much he stills loves her. How much he misses her and they should work this out. But Niall respects Ella’s decision, which is the biggest proof of love if you ask me, so I have to respect Ella’s decision, too. I just hope and beg one day they’ll find each other. They deserve to find each other.

At night I say goodbye at Niall by the music room, but he stays with me a little more. He sees me with the instruments and gets curious as why I’m so familiarised with them. I don’t tell him, instead I sit in front of the piano and play for him. I just play a song, any song that slowly turns into that song I once tried to write about Ella and Niall. I think I might pick that up again and work on it. I know more now. I can give him that, right? Maybe he could use it for another present when he sees her.

“Wow! That was amazing. Does it have lyrics?” he asks me and I nod. “Could you sing for me?” he asks and I think of Mare. Of our deal.

Why do I care? She betrayed me. I owe her nothing!

So I start playing again and I sing this time and by when I finish I know Niall has many questions so I sigh deeply.

“I sang last night. I wrote Mare’s song and sang it backstage. She did the performance,” I tell him and his expression is sheer shock.

“But… but you then…”

“I can’t face an audience,” I tell him shrugging. “I would have a worse panic attack than the one last night.”

“But Ari, everyone feels like that. The stage is threatening and frightening. But you know what helps? What’s the magic that allows us all to be there?” I only blink. “The music. Music is the magic that makes you feel on top of the world. Like nothing can go wrong. And your music is wonderful! Your music can give you the strength you need.”

“I-I-I… I can’t,” I state. I can’t even imagine myself on a stage, in front of people.

“You should try it, just to make sure you can’t, if you’re that sure about that,” he adds with a shrug and only then I realise that I’ve never really tried.