The Girl In Room 417

Untitled Part 17

           

And so, that is how my new routine came about. I get to the hospital bright and early, spend a few hours talking to Abby, have a quick and unsatisfactory bite to eat in the cafeteria and then head to my sister for a couple hours, before heading home.

You would think that the hospital is a boring place to be, but spending time with Abby is anything but boring. She has such a unique mind, her responses to the simplest questions always take me by surprise and her ability to comprehend such complex ideas and convey them to me in such a simple way is enough for me to be hanging off her every word.

Her story telling abilities are as renowned as the children in the paediatric wing say, and despite having spent an unfathomable time in a hospital, she has hundreds of tales in her repertoire.

She looks more and more beautiful to me every day, which is not something I am thrilled about. At first, I was worried for Emily's welfare. How would she cope when Abby inevitably moved on.

Now, I'm more concerned with how I will cope, once she is no longer with me. She is so patient and kind to me, despite my sharp attitude, avid ignorance and inability to control the words that come out of my mouth. I am unaware, as to whether she enjoys my company as much as I enjoy hers, however she never fails to smile brightly when I walk through her door in the mornings, and pout when it's time for me to leave.

That thought alone gives me a little hope.

"Ben? You look more abstracted than usual today, everything ok?" Her voice cuts through my despairing thoughts and I nod absently. Another thing to add to the 'things Abby does that I love' list, she uses such fantastic words, like abstracted.

She says it's because she's really into old books, where the language is more flexible and varied. I never really thought of reading as something enjoyable until I heard Abby talk about it. It seems like it's her favourite thing to do, getting lost in another person's fantasy, living vicariously through adventures and mysteries as she is unable to do so herself.

"So, have you had any more thoughts on what you want to do, once Emily's better?" She asks chirpily and I sigh. She seems fixated on talking about the future. I want to live in the present.

"No, I'll probably keep working in the shop with Max, he'll be taking it over from his old man any day now." I mutter, shrugging my shoulders.

"Is that what you want?"

"I guess, don't know what I'd do otherwise."

She throws her delicate arms up in frustration.

"Ben, you infuriate me. You could travel, or go to university, learn something new, meet someone new, go on an adventure, gain a skill, meet the love of your life!" She lists, her eyes shining with all the possibilities and I roll my eyes.

"Lord knows I would, if I could." She says gently and I shift in my seat.

"Are you scared?" I blurt inadvertently, but Abby seems quite used to my sudden and sometimes insensitive questions.

"Of dying? Not really. I used to be, but it's inevitable. Happens to everyone at some point, the way I see it, it's like going back to the place I was before I was born, and nobody is afraid of that place, so why be afraid of it now?" She says it flippantly, as if she were talking about the weather. I shiver.

"But there's so much you haven't done that you want to do."

She sighs heavily and nods.

"Yes, but I've lived as best as I know how and I don't regret it. I'm sure the Big Guy upstairs will make it up to me, maybe he'll reincarnate me as someone with a longer life-span." She jokes and I manage a weak smile, regretting bringing up the subject.