Diell Breaker (LGBT- Sci-Fi - Romance)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20 

Captain Farrell was glad Rhys was alive, he was, really. He didn't feel any desire to go down to the planet and visit him in person, but he was happy enough that he'd survived. The more he thought about it the angrier he got with himself for starting the brief affair in the first place. He should have known how risky it was, how difficult to keep something like that secret in this small a place. But Rhys had seemed so bright and cheeky and it had been so long since he had been with anyone, that lust had overruled his brain. He could only hope Rhys would continue to keep his mouth shut.  

He wondered where Petrov was. He had tried hard to get over his attraction to him, and he thought he'd succeeded pretty well so far. Maybe he'd invite him for a drink in his quarters tomorrow night. Once or twice a week he'd invite one of his officers in for a couple of drinks and a casual chat, maybe even a hand of cards if he felt like it. The custom helped him keep in touch with his men, provided a social opportunity, a contrast to the strict, rather coldly professional way he treated everyone while on duty. He hadn't invited Petrov by himself yet, perhaps he should, he didn't want to make it too obvious to everyone else that he was avoiding him. Really, when he thought of it like that, it was practically his duty to invite him. 

XXX 

"Yes," said Shehu. He could feel Petrov's breath on his mouth, it was the work of a moment to lean closer and cover those lips with his own. Alexei sighed and opened his mouth beneath Shehu's, this was what he had been waiting for, longing for since ... Shehu took his time, tracing the outline of those beautiful lips with the tip of his tongue, before easing inside to play with his mouth. His moustache felt soft and a little ticklish against his face, he couldn't help wondering how it would feel elsewhere! One hand crept up to run through his hair, stroking the sensitive spot at the nape of his neck in small circles with gentle fingertips.  

Alexei could feel the heavy muscles along Shehu's shoulders and down his back shifting under his hands, even through the material of his uniform. His muscles were not immediately obvious to the eye, disguised by his deep chest, but they were real, not like some men he had seen, whose bodies looked almost like plastic moulds. He was all man, not half boy as Rhys had been. His arms slid around Alexei's back, drawing him even more firmly against his body, pushing one powerful thigh slightly between his legs. Alexei gasped as he felt Shehu's thigh rubbing against his rapidly hardening arousal, pushing through further, god that felt so good. He kissed Shehu harder, sucking his tongue into his mouth, grinding their hips together, his breathing hard and fast. Shehu was trying to go slow but Alexei didn't want to wait any longer. He wanted to get their clothes off, he wanted Shehu's strong, slightly roughened hands on his bare skin, he wanted to see how far the curly black hair covered his body, twirl his fingers through it.  

He let go of Shehu for a moment to unfasten his uniform, opening it wide across the chest so he could see those tight brown nipples, the mat of hair between them, trying to pull it down over his hips, impatient to get him naked. "Hey, slow down," Shehu murmured, a smile in his voice. 

"Why?" Petrov's voice was thick with passion as he pulled his own uniform down, kicking his boots off, before standing there naked in front of him. Shehu wanted to stop for a moment, just to stare at him, allow his eyes to caress that beautiful long body, appreciate the wonderful gift he was being given, but Alexei was already dropping down to the floor, on his knees in front of him and then ... he couldn't think at all. 

XXX 

Sometime later, after they had finally made it to Shehu's narrow bed, Alexei turned to him and twisted his forefinger gently in the hair on his chest, tugging it until he got his attention. "We have to talk," he said seriously, surely the most dreaded words in the universe for a lover to hear, especially after sex. Shehu held his breath, trying not to feel too apprehensive. What was Petrov going to say? 

"I'm hoping this wasn't just a one-time fling." He continued without waiting for an answer, "but it's just that you may want to put some thought into how we're going to keep an affair, if we have one, a secret from everyone else on the ship." He held the other man's gaze. "As far as I'm concerned, I don't mind if the whole ship knows, but I know it's different for you." He kept his tone even, making an effort not to sound as if he was criticising. 

Despite that, the other man winced. He wished he was brave enough to say the hell with it, let Farrell do his worst but the decades long habit of secrecy was too entrenched. "Would you be prepared to put up with that? Sneaking around, having sex when we can find a spare moment?" He heard his own words, "Sorry! It sounds so sordid when I say it like that. I know I'm not being fair to you but I'm asking anyway."  

"I suppose so, if it becomes too dangerous we'll just have to stop. It's not as if we're in love or anything is it? It's just sex." Petrov looked at Shehu out of the corner of his eye as he said that, more than half hoping the other man would protest but although he swallowed uncomfortably, he didn't contradict him. 

Petrov felt suddenly depressed, and it was his own stupid fault. Everything had been fantastic and then he had had to go and open his mouth. He should have simply kept quiet and left the next move up to Shehu, maybe made himself unavailable for a while to keep him keen. But he had wanted to know where he stood, whether he was just a quick fuck or whether Shehu was serious about him. He wanted more than a short, furtive affair. He thought he had made that clear enough but now it was up to Shehu to get his priorities in order. 

Just sex. Petrov thought it was just sex. Shehu was on the verge of passionate denial, ready to tell Alexei how much he wanted him, but then another part of him held back. How could he expect Alexei to believe he was on the brink of loving him when in the next breath he asked him to pretend he wasn't? How could he believe himself?