One Shots » LotR

Of a Soul's Longing

Legolas had seen a world crumble to ash.

He had seen armies fall and darkness rise. Before his eyes, those he loved had faded away and the light of hope had come and gone.

Legolas had seen pain. True and wretched, heart wrenching pain.

And it was his soul that paid the price.

Closing his eyes, Legolas listened to the branches of Mirkwood sway with the breeze, the wind singing a haunting melody that few could truly hear.

He tried to remember the days when his heart belonged to the forest. When his feet couldn't take him quick enough down the forgotten paths of Greenwood and the simple smell of rain on the lush leaves was enough to make him smile.

But instead, the calling of sea gulls echoed through his mind. His feet yearned for the feel of sand between his toes and his lungs screamed for the feeling of fresh ocean air.

No longer did his soul belong to Mirkwood. No longer did his heart fill with the sound of falling leaves and crunching sticks.

No longer was Mirkwood his home.

Legolas battled with himself to open his eyes. For he feared what he would see when he did-- what kind of world would he behold?

For what kind of world could be good, without a place to belong in it?

In the years before, he had vowed to stay for those he loved. Estel and his father. Gimli and the hobbits.

For with them, his heart had a reason to stay caged.

Yet hope had faded. The hobbits had grown old and passed to the green country, far beyond the silver glass. And his own father had departed, leaving him truly alone in the world.

Only Gimli held his soul tethered to the land of mortals.

The dwarf in his mind, Legolas forced his eyes open, leaning forward and gazing down from the branch on which he rested.

At the base of the tree, a bundle of red hair snored.

Oh, Valar...

Ever so slowly, Legolas lifted his eyes. The breeze lifted once more, blowing strands of hair across his face as the birds sang haunting melodies in the moonlight.

He couldn't deny the beauty in it.

Yet he also couldn't swallow past the feeling that no longer was this beauty his.

For too long his mind had battled with his heart over his soul. For too long he had been distracted by the cries of gulls that did not bear life, by the crashing of waves against an imaginary ocean edge.

For Legolas had seen a world balance on the edge of a knife.

He had seen good overcome the darkest of evils.

He had held the hand of his brother-in-bond as he faded into the stars, watched the friends he had sworn to protect travel beyond the tip of his arrow, and lost the only kin he called a father.

And it was becoming too much for his elven soul to handle.

"Tell me, Adar," he whispered to the night, tilting his head against the rough bark of the tree. The stars glowed in the night, of silver and gold.

"In joy I no longer live. Do I follow my heart beyond the cloven forest of my home? Do I abandon my people, my blood and my kin, all for the soul's selfish want?"

His voice cracked on the last few words-- but the night didn't cease to be still and tranquil. Not even the stars spoke to him anymore.

The only language Legolas seemed to understand anymore was that of rolling waves beyond his reach.

"I miss you, father," he turned his head away, closing his eyes. "There is nothing left for me here. No peace among these mountains and no love under the moonlight of this forest."

I wish to travel to the sea...

Yet there was still no answer in the night. Nothing.

"I go west," his father had told him so many months ago. "My heart departed long ago, ion-nin, it is time I followed. Yet... yet I know you must stay with those you have chosen to deliver your own heart to. And for that reason, I weep."

Gimli's loud snores jolted him from his thoughts of despair and Legolas rubbed his eyes, sitting back up.

But it was the sudden crack of movement beyond their camp that made him start fully.

In an instant, Legolas was on his feet, his bow drawn and fingers stretching for a feathered arrow. He narrowed his eyes, peering hard against the shadows.

Then he froze.

For on the ground below, far beyond his tree, stood a white stag enveloped in moonlight, paler than the stars themselves.

Legolas could only stare for a moment, unsure if his eyes deceived him. Then he blinked, taking a step back and sliding from his branch.

His shoes hit the forest floor silently and he rose to his feet, gazing back into the shadowed wood.

The stag still stared.

Slowly, Legolas took a step forward, tilting his head. The creature didn't move nor blink, an air of age and magic hanging where it stood.

"I do not understand," Legolas lifted a single hand toward the stag. Gently, cautiously.

The stag slowly lowered its head.

Then under his foot, a twig snapped. In a split second, the stag started, then was gone. Legolas barely heard the sound of it leaping away.

He blinked.

Then unbidden tears rose to his eyes and he sunk to his knees, staring at the spot where the creature had stood. His heart twisted and his chin dropped to his chest, a single tear slipping down his cheek.

"I do not understand."

Behind him, he faintly heard Gimli mumble something incoherent, then roll over. But he didn't look back.

His eyes fluttering closed, Legolas grasped at the grasses, running his fingers through the dirt and up the stalks. But it didn't have the same feel as he remembered.

Another tear traced down his cheek, dripping from his chin.

Legolas Greenleaf long under tree.
In joy thou hast lived. Beware of the Sea!
If thou hearest the cry of the gull on the shore,
Thy heart shall then rest in the forest no more.

"There is nothing here for me anymore," Legolas whispered, turning his chin to the sky. "I long for this world no more. I will leave, Adar, although I know not whether it is right."

Saese, tell me if I am right.

Somewhere, an owl hooted. Then a single star streaked across the millions, quicker than the blink of an eye.

And a sudden smile warmed across Legolas's lips.

Threading his hands back into the dirt, he breathed in the scent of his childhood forest, knowing it would be his last time. For finally, his mind had been made up.

He would see them again. All of them.

For his soul had paid the price, his years in the world being years too many. His sword still tasted the blood of those he had slain and his eyes still cried for those who he had watched fade.

But finally, his mind had been made up. I go West. I will leave the woods that bore me... to Elvenhome, where my people are forever.

And in gladness, Legolas, the most tireless of the Fellowship, wept.

A/N: this little bit was requested by Eunice199701 for a one-shot on Legolas's sea longing! I truly adored this one, in all honestly, it's probably one of my favorites so far.

I've wanted to write about Legolas's longing for the sea for ages, but never quite got around to finishing it. But now here we are... and I would love to hear all of your guys's thoughts!

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Until next time!