A Most Charming Prince

Nine: Bedded and Bound

When the light faded on her bench in the garden, Rebec gathered up her sewing and retired indoors, where she also pocketed a silver snuff box, two jeweled hair pins and a gold-plated candlestick. Rebec, like any self-respecting woman had walloping pockets. Custom sewn by herself, though, you couldn't get pockets otherwise in women's clothing in Darndiddle.

Hanging on the handrail of the main staircase, was a man's undergarment.

Hallo, there, wee thing. Thought I washed you just yesterday.

She pinched the hem between thumb and forefinger to check for the tell-tale smudges on the inside. Nope. Nada. They were clean.

Now what in diddly-darn am I supposed to do with Seth's clean boxers?

In they went to a spare pocket. She'd sort out the mess later.

Except, another pair of grey hose lay like a dead mouse barfed up by the house cat at the top of the stairs. She tiptoed up to poke at it. And in the middle of the hall to the family's bedrooms? Huh. A chemise.

And at Seth's door...a ruffled collar.

Seth had taken up undressing on his way to his bedroom. At this rate, her pockets would burst.

The door opened. Seth grimaced at her, grabbed her arm, and dragged her into his bedroom.

He was naked. No wonder, the poor dear had lost everything on his way inside.

"Something you need me to do fer ya? No clean clothes left, young master?" Rebec patted his cheek, although the eldest Répoute son was nearly her age. "Dinah ya worry none, I'll get ya fixed up and ship-shape faster than a storm gale blowing through the port."

"Wonderful. You're making this easy on me. Bonny. If you could get over to the bed, we'll get this over with in a flash of lightening. Tis my style, as it were. The ladies call me Lightening man." Seth pulled back the covers and jumped on the bed. "Climb on me, quick now."

"I'm not rightly sure how to get this done if you're on top. I've never done it in such a way."

He flopped sideways, and stroked the mattress. "Fine. If you're going to be difficult. But hurry along."

"You remind me of the grubby garden worms, don't ya know? The pasty, wiggly white ones you turn up with the hoe when making the carrot rows. Ugly little bastards, they are."

"Enough about me. Get on board now, right?" He grabbed her arm and pulled her down to his side. "Is that...is that a Leaning Tower of Pisa I sense? Because if it is, this is going to be even more unpleasant than I imagined."

"Nay, 'tis but a silver candlestick. I was straightening the house earlier. You seem uncomfortable."

"Yes, well, speaking of ugly, I'd be less garden grubby if I keep my eyes closed and don't see you. You don't mind?"

"Not a bit. Could I interest your lordship in a blindfold? I've just the thing." She fished the hose from her deep pockets and tied it around his head.

"Ah, much better, housemaid. Reminds me of the brothel Madame who ties me to the bed and spanks me until I pay her double. That cures my wriggling wee-wilyness right quick everytime."

"Tie you to the—if your lordship so desires," Rebec said. In two snaps of a belly dancer's fingers, she stretched him from the four posts of the bed and attached his limbs with various underthings (clean or not) in her pockets. "Oh, my. You've a fearful swelling progressing down under, Master Seth. But never you worry! I've just the thing. The seamstress over at the Enchanted Bushes taught me a thing or two. A good prick will not be wasted here."

"Enchanted Bushes seam—by all means!" He mewed strangely like a kitten, as she sprang from the bed and found her sewing kit. It was only a moment before she had heated her largest needle by way of a candle.

Eyeing the situation, she came to as swift decision. The swelling most clearly began at the base of his protrusion, in a lumpy sack. There. She would strike at the heart of the problem. She took a firm hold of the rod-like cause of all these worries, and poised the needle above the sack.

"Oh, yes! Glad you are taking your bedding like a champ," Seth said and cooed at her.

"Always pleased to do my duty and earn my living here." She squinted, not wanting to miss. She counted to three, inhaled, held her breath and—

"WAZAJAKOBKNOCLSHIZZMIESTERFUDGECREAMFICLYTITCUM—mfmkdjmkmkmkmmm!"

When Seth's screaming got to be too much for her ears, Rebec stuffed the last pair of (dirty) undies in his mouth. She stroked his forehead. "Swelling has already gone down, I think you'll be fine. Poor dearie. Let me fetch yer father to look after ya." She stood to go.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Since this is my job, I won't be a second in strippin' the bed."

In a few deft yanks, she removed his sheets and pillow cases from the mattress and pillows, as Seth writhed, trying to shout for help through his own boxers. "Sleep tight, your lordship."

On her way out, she palmed a purse of coins. Criminy, he leaves valuables out where anyone might find them. I'll put these in safe-keeping right away. The money went into a deep pocket.

*** I'm willing to bet that a jab of a needle to the old rocks would cure any stiff or swollen members... No doubt. ***