A Most Charming Prince

Fourteen: Snockered Ladies Leaving Their Knickers All About

Rebec arrived at the back gates to the brothel and immediately noticed a confused, mud-smudged lady leaning her head against the stone wall to the courtyard, mumbling to herself. The cleaning maid took her hand to lead her inside the gate where she nearly tripped over 2 prone ladies nestled among clucking chickens.

The brothel had fresh eggs, three of which Rebec popped in her pockets to whip up some breakfast for the vapped women she found. What a night they must have had...

She set the ladies on stools in the dining room, found two more unfortunate and untidily discarded souls under the table, so she promptly straightened them on benches. On her way across the spacious dining room, she rearranged the furniture, dusted, polished the lamps, cleared cobwebs from the rafters, swept and pocketed all the loose change under the chairs.

Destiny. She glanced about. Nope. No destiny in the dining room. The kitchen, perhaps? As she pushed on the swinging door to what should be the kitchen, however, voices stopped her dead in her tracks. The melodic baritone of a man whispering sweet words promising such ecstasy and delight that any woman would swoon from the pleasure.

"Why it would be an honor to help you with your work, my lady Julia, no woman should go about alone in the kitchen."

Head spinning and little butterflies caught in a tornado of emotions in her stomach, Rebec put her eye to the opening. The creamy vanilla skin of a well-muscled back and shoulder came into view, as a young knightly man adjusted a pair of trousers and threw on a cotton chemise. He tossed his wild, black locks into place with a shake of his head.

Readers by now, you should feel for our darling Rebec and her bittersweet longing for this sex-on-a-stick we-all-want-to-lick. And, as you probably guessed, her bloomers (for a change) sparked, sizzled, and finally went up in a show of flames so hot that her hair fell free from its messy bun and white handkerchief hat and curled in lovely, golden waves about her shoulders and to her waist.

"Never shall I ever have such a charming princely sort of man for my own, so I mustn't dawdle about daydreamin'." While she gave one last wistful glance at the kitchen, she turned to climb the main stairs, hoping to find her destiny in the inn's bedrooms above.

***

Madame went down the servants' stairwell to the back of the kitchen, hoping someone had already made a pot of coffee. Halfway there, a telltale thumping alerted her to a more than likely illicit tryst in the storeroom. Illicit because insurance only covered accidents for customers in the bedrooms and her girls followed the rules. That could only mean Julia was in there having her way with...

Madame flew the remaining steps and few feet, and put her ear to the storage room door. A heart-stopping, toe-curling BANG-BANG-BANG on a wall almost drowned out the labored sounds of Julia gasping for air.

The poor cook. Should she go in and offer assistance? Was the plump dear up to such vigorous treatment?

"Excellent technique, lady Julia!" shouted the knight. "Now, put both hands on my rod and pound up and down. Good. Very good. Faster, now!"

Madame's eyes fluttered. What a sight that rod must be.

"Oh, my!" Julia cried. "I'm not sure I can keep up with this rhythm, I'm not as young as I once was, you know."

"Nonsense. A woman with your experience is a treasure trove for a young chap like myself. Keep a firm grip on the wood. I shall aid thee. Smooth and steady. Can you feel it rising up?"

"I feel—" her voice broke with a pleasured sigh— "I feel it coming on, yes!"

"Yes, keep going, don't stop!"

BANG-BANG-BANG

Good lord of all the saints and sinners—that stud-muffin will break through the walls soon!

"If I move my hand like this on you, is it better?" he asked.

"Oh, yes, that's the spot. But really, I can't...much longer!"

"Don't stop now, keep pounding, I can feel it. The monks showed me this method, truly a miracle, wait for it—and here it comes!"

"Ah, yes, here it comes, ah yes!"

They both shouted at the same time and the banging stopped.

"Gads," exclaimed Julia from the store room. "Such a quantity as I've never seen. And so creamy, with but a hint of salt to the taste."

By now, Madame could barely breathe. She undid her top laces and fanned her face.

"Impressive, I know. I would pound out this much every morning for the monks, for their breakfast. You should take the extra you don't use to market. Young women, especially, will pay handsomely for the stuff to impress their husbands."

Blinking in confusion, Madame stopped fanning herself. In her overheated, turbulent state, she thought the knight told Julia to take his 'production' to market. Were such things done?

At that moment, several events happened in quick succession, with catastrophic consequences ensuing:

1. The thief barged into the kitchen, looking for food to steal. Madame hauled him up to her bosom, said he was just the man she urgently needed and pulled him into the servants' stairwell for some nookie.

2. Julia opened the store room door to allow the prince to carry out a barrelful of freshly made butter (and what did you think they were doing in there, hmm?). She led him out the back so they could load it on a cart for market.

3. Il Répoute and his son Seth (a pillow wedged between his tender, abused parts and the saddle) arrived by horseback at the front entrance. The prince greeted them at the barn's front entrance.

4. Rebec, who had cleared out the empty rooms of valuables and returned downstairs to the dining room, saw her master and his son through a window pane.

5. She fled, hoping to hide in the kitchen, tripped over the thief's satchel which he had dropped in surprise, opened it to find the prince's heirlooms, wondered why on earth anyone would leave such lovely baubles lying about for a thief to find, pocketed them, and found a loaf of bread. She picked it up, thinking she would find its owner, when Julia returned.

6. Julia shouted thief! causing Nigel, who was in the stairwell, to bolt from Madame's impassioned necking and bound up the stairs, and Rebec to jump and run straight to the dining room and into the prince's arms.

Il Répoute saw his servant dash from the kitchen only to be caught in the arms of the handsome stranger who had ushered them inside. He saw and immediately recognized the danger to his well-laid plans. The stranger was Danger with a capital D. A big, big D.

*** Ah, the D. Big D's... And for your viewing pleasure a gratuitous, bared-chested Dean Winchester. ***