Ellie is Cool Now

Chapter 14

Now I'm the villain in a rom-com starring Liz as the sweet unassuming ingénue.

She left her fiancé at a party, trusting him with her whole heart because that's what you do when you're an adorable strawberry-haired pixie person.

And then I come along. The pleather-skirt-wearing c-word who sucks the face off her man. Total anti-feminism.

I'm not quite the trope — no pleather on me today.

I put my hand on Mark's chest and pull away from the kiss. This is not right. I am not this person. I do not lock lips with someone else's boyfriend.

Er, fiancé.

Oh my God.

"I can't do this," I say out loud. Mark's eyes are wide. He turns away from me and gazes at the steering wheel.

"I'm sorry," he says after a long, slow sigh.

"You are engaged," I say. "To be married."

"I know." He says it quickly. Like he doesn't want to hear it right now.

We sit together in stunned silence. I could get out of the car, but I don't. I don't want to. I want to know more about what just happened.

"You're fucking with my head, Ellie." He touches his forehead for effect.

"I am? You just kissed me, asshole."

He laughs. "You know what I mean."

"No, I don't. I actually don't. Why did you do that? If you're so in love with the woodland sprite, why did you kiss me?"

"Don't call her that," he says.

"Well, it's better than Lizard."

He smiles. "Touché."

"Answer me."

"I don't know!" He runs a hand through his hair in frustration. "I just don't know, okay? All I know is I needed to. I had to know what it feels like to kiss you."

It's like my jaw has been wired shut. I'm speechless. No one's ever said anything like that to me. It's hot, and all I can think about is wanting to kiss him again.

I can't resist. "And? What's the verdict?"

He doesn't say anything, and I feel my stomach twist up in knots. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Never mind, I don't want to know." I open the car door again. I don't remember closing it. I'm out of the car before I hear my name again. I hesitate and lean down to peer in at him one more time.

His eyes are big and brown, like a puppy. Pleading with me. Go back in time. Tell me. Show me. Something. Anything.

"Good night, Mark," is all I say before I slam the door shut and run into the house.

I lie in bed, wide awake. I'm filled with mixed emotions, but don't know how to express them. I'm mad at Mark, mad at myself, mad at teenage Ellie for not having the balls to confront her feelings head-on. Sad for Liz, whose fiancé just locked lips with another woman.

Seriously, who am I? What's wrong with me?

I toss and turn. My phone buzzes. Vic and Tina have sent texts requesting updates all night long. I've ignored every single buzz. They must know that something is up, but I can't bring myself to unlock my phone and respond. They might be city-folk, but even they won't be happy to hear I just swapped spit with a soon-to-be married man.