Mitosis

Anaphase

V. Anaphase

When you think of anaphase, it was always the separation.

Last days went by with romantic walks and stolen kisses. They both knew it wouldn't last longer than they wanted it to. Nonetheless, they gave into the time they had, and let their little journey be as they desired.

But even though how many times you want to pause or rewind the time for a while, it is impossible. There is an end to everything and a destination to every journey, too for Zhen and Feodor's. They fathomed that words wouldn't be enough to express their sorrow and how heartbroken it would leave both to separate so they decided that sorrow off for the coming days.

But you can never run away from your fate.

They tried to, though, for a brief moment to stop the world and just be together for infinity. They wanted to live somewhere else, where they would be accepted as themselves and where people weren't ignorant and there weren't stupid rules and lives they had to fit in. The traditions, families and all those obstacles that prevented them to be together.

Zhen Wang wished she was someone else. . .maybe Olga, Alexandra or Vera. She dreamed of being an actual Russian with the pale skin and blonde hair. She wished on a wishing star to go to Russia instead of China later. It wasn't that she wasn't proud of who she was or where she lived. She did, she loved her family very much and she even missed them - but not as much as she was supposed to. Because there was a restriction to any other feelings than the love she felt towards that Russian boy. She couldn't think properly, she couldn't even feel right.

She felt her heart tearing apart into pieces as they stood in the airport, gazing around and she noticed that this was where she first bumped into him. She felt like she'd known him her entire life and as if she was born again with him. She had been Feodor's Zhen, not Zhen Wang during her holiday. It felt so strange to turn into Zhen Wang the usual again after a while. She didn't want to - she wanted to be his.

When she gazed at Feodor, she figured that he was thinking the same. His eyes looking with despair and disappointment, his lips firmly shut as if he'd not open them again. Maybe she wouldn't either. She didn't want to speak up if it weren't his name that she'd utter. She didn't want to open her eyes, if she didn't see Feodor Vasilyev in front of her again.

There were only a few minutes left 'till the flight and the closer it had gotten the worse she began to feel. She knew this would be coming soon - she felt like she had prepared herself well...She convinced that it wouldn't hurt too much. But apparently, it did.

She wanted to speak to hear him once again, just to engrave his voice into her mind in order not to lose it along the way. "It was so great knowing you," she whispered slowly. She cleared her throat afterwards, since the voice came out so cracking.

Feodor glanced up at her, which broke her heart into pieces as if it hadn't before, and he licked his lips to talk. He wasn't looking at her though, while speaking. "It was the best holiday of my life."

"It is always going to be my number one," she replied sincerely and certainly. She knew it was - no matter how many years would pass or how many holidays she'd have, she knew this one was special. Because first love was special itself - unforgettable. Feodor Vasilyev, that day, engraved his name himself to Zhen Wang's heart and you would never remove a mark from one's heart.

They just stood there for a while - before Zhen spoke up again. "I'm in love with you, Feo," she breathed, "I don't know how long this thing called love will last inside my heart but now, I know love is the right word to name it. Thanks for showing me what love means and teaching me how to fly on Cloud nine. Thanks for taking my first kiss - and maybe even more - because I wouldn't want anyone else to take it from me. Thanks for making the fairytale come true and making me fall in love in London, my favourite city. I always knew that it would be worth my effort but I'd never imagined it would be worth my whole lifetime."

Meanwhile, Feodor grabbed her by the chin and meet their lips. It was a short but meaningful kiss for both of them. Then, he put her hair behind her ear, smelled her unique odour of her skin and tried to memorise it with all his nerves. "Don't forget me."

She looked up at him with her eyes filled tears and she gulped down before speaking up. "I will forget you, Feo," she said hoarsely and sorrowfully, "I will forget us. The memories will fade away and it'll be as if the thing between us has never happened. But whenever something reminds me of you and the love we now have, my heart will skip a beat and my breath will quicken. Even though I forget, my brain forgets about us, my heart and soul will remember anything and everything."

"That heart will love someone else," Feodor reproved, "you will fall again, Zhen." He looked down and shut firmly his eyes to control his tears but he couldn't prevent that one escaped from there and fell onto Zhen's skirt.

"Look at me." Zhen raised his head and made him look at her by her hand. "I wish the situation would be different - I wish we just could find a place in this world and we could be brave enough to leave our lives to build up another. But we aren't. That's okay, Feo, we'll be okay."

"I don't want to be optimistic about this. I love you, Zhen," he yelled.

"Love never solves any problems and it only adds more salt to the wounds. We did this on purpose, Feodor, we wanted to burn in the fire oflove and now we are ashes and dust. I don't regret this, if it is you I burnt for. There is a saying, you know, I love you enough to let you go."

Feodor's lips parted but Zhen cut him off. "London will remember, Feodor." She smiled so brightly even though she was a damage inside, to bright Feodor's heart even for a bit. "London will remember Zhen and Feodor."

Then, they embraced each other and stayed like that for a brief moment. Then, they cried - wetting each other's shoulder with their salty tears. They looked at each other's swollen eyes and face, kissing as long as their breaths allowed them to.

The awaited announcement came afterwards. They both knew what this meant in any language. Do svidaniya. 告别. Farewell.

Zhen inhaled a deep breath, wishing not to exhale it and stay there forever.

"Goodbye my Feo, qíng rén."

Feodor closed his eyes as she attempted to turn back and leave. He grabbed her by the hand and kissed her lips once again - hungrily and knowing that it was the last. "My Zhen, lyubovnik." He whispered against her soft and warm lips. Now, it was the true farewell.

She stared at him, wandered her eyes upon him, up and down and tried her best not to ever forget it. Then, she had to leave. She turned back and never looked back again. . .Because she knew if she did, she wouldn't be able to leave him.

It was their ending, their separation and their anaphase.

It was how they parted - their bodies and not their souls. For their souls had always stayed there - in London, in that cabin of the ferris wheel and in those streets they walked on. Their hearts had been buried there under the smell, the atmosphere of city. A love had started in London and ended there.

From their journey, they both learnt one thing: What happens in London, stays in London.

They were two pieces of a chromosome - but they had never forgotten that.